The Whitest Rose
by rubyphantom56
Summary: A rose was all it took. A pure white rose could mean the world to one person, and to that one person, it happened to be Draco Malfoy. From an admirer true, this story shows how love can conquer all obstacles. Slash don't like don't read. Read and review
1. Prologue

A/N: Ok, so we have a prologue for the story. The prologue was originally written after the first chapter, but I felt the need to clarify that this story does indeed have more of a purpose than just a romance novelette with a white rose as the background story. Thus, you have a prologue. Hope you enjoy!

Summary: A rose was all it took. A pure white rose could mean the world to one person, and to that one person, it happened to be Draco Malfoy. From an admirer true, this story shows how love can conquer all obstacles. "A rose is a symbol of love, and white is pure, thus I show him my pure love with a white rose." There are no others like it in the world, no roses this white, no purer color to find. "I'm calling the song _Rosebud_. It seems only fitting after what I've experienced." The white roses line the runway for the plane. Don't forget the purest symbol of love is a white rose- only pure love can last so long. "He will know love, and love will know him, for the rose cannot hide the secret of his heart." A rose can wait for love, but love cannot wait forever when it is not known.

Disclaimer: Usual standards apply here: I don't own them, so get over it already.

Title: The Whitest Rose

**_Prologue- The Rose Legend_**

The snow falls from the dark clouds overhead, and there is a white blanket that lines the grounds of the school, just like always in December at this time of year. The snow is quiet, much like the school during the night, and it is no surprise to find one or two students walking around, despite knowing that wandering around the corridors at night is strictly forbidden.

The darkest part of the night is a beacon for those who like to wander and have trouble sleeping, just like many will have at some point in their lives. There is a deep breath inhaled at the doors leading out to the grounds, and if someone were standing there, people would know. But since there is no one besides one student on a quest looking for something in particular, no one would ever know that he was going outside in a cloak of invisibility.

This boy is looking for something in particular, something you cannot find except in the depths of the woods on the grounds, in the deep winter night. He is looking for a rose. A white rose, one that you would believe could never thrive in such a land of snow and cold, but in fact, it is only natural that you could find the white rose in the snow, during winter seasons. But this rose is one, which has an unnatural power.

This rose will remain alive and a pure white for as long as the one who picks it has a pure love for someone who is unaware of their identity. They must also take the claim of "an admirer true" for the rose must be given to their beloved without the love knowing about it, and the rose always knows. The rose is magical, and in that magic there is a curl of power that makes it possible for someone to know that you truly love them, and that you will always love them, even if they never love you in return.

The boy wandering the grounds was looking for this legendary rose to give to the boy he loves, and he would rather do it this way, and have the rose die off from the other boy knowing his identity, rather than risking losing this first love of his.

The rose is waiting for love, and it will wait because it can and because it knows of love. The problem is, that the boy must give himself to the power of the rose, and feel a part of him die if his love dies. Love does not wait around forever, so it must be seized before it can disappear, and the rose keeps it around for as long as the beloved is unaware of the identity of the giver of the rose.

The boy is willing to risk everything for this other boy, despite knowing it is unusual to love someone of the same gender, knowing that he could possibly die of heartbreak, or be rejected in the very least, and might never be friends with him, but he wants to risk it all. He wants that one chance at being happy and so now he seeks the white rose of pure, withstanding love, and wants to know his risk.

The forest is deep at night, and dark, so the boy must whisper, "Lumos," to pick his way toward the patch of the forest where he knows the rose will be growing on its own, and at last he finds the clearing. The roses are glittering despite the lack of light, and the boy picks one of the roses, breaking it off at the stem and inhaling the sweet scent of the rose deeply.

This is the perfect gift, and it is the best time of year to give a white rose to someone, for the white rose blooms only twice a year, and the boy is lucky enough to be able to have it picked and ready for his beloved to receive, so that he may know just how much he truly loves him.

The white rose is nearly white, and before it can be truly white, it must be given to the one that deserves the love that he offers, and he must speak the name of his beloved against the petals, and cry willing tears in a quiet, unrequited love for the rose to know the pureness.

This is no problem for the boy, and so he remembers the insults, the taunting, the horridness, and most of all the fact that they cannot even be friends. Tears fall in quiet streams across his cheeks, and they land on the rose, and at last he mutters the name of his beloved along with the chant that will make the rose pure as soon as he sends it with the owl that will be summoned to deliver his message.

"Draco Malfoy, I give you my heart and my trust and my love with this rose. I give myself to you, bearing myself to you, feeling how lucky I am to know love, and know that it is possible for me to love you. In this night, I find love in my heart, and know that with my tears, I can know the pure love that this rose represents, and I rip myself open for you to examine and for you to love. You will never know my name, nor will I expect you to love me in return, but that is not important at the time of this love. You will know of my love for you, and you will know that I cannot lie to you. Draco Malfoy, I give you my heart and my trust and my love with this rose. Keep it pure, keep the love pure, and know you are loved at long last." Tears are falling within this speech, and the boy knows that he is literally ripping his emotions apart because of this love, and he is willing to risk it all.

A snow-white owl appears before him, suspended in the air, waiting for a name and for instructions. "I shall name you Richard, and you will respond to your name only to these two voices. My own, and the voice of Draco Malfoy are the ones you will respond to and Draco is who you will be delivering this letter and rose to tomorrow morning. I shall call for you again tomorrow morning Richard, and remember the name Draco Malfoy. Join my mind for now, so you may know what he looks like, and deliver the letter when I call for you in the morning after the sun rises. I shall see you in a few hours Richard." The owl disappears behind his eyes, and he closes them for a bit as he glances at his watch.

It is time to return to the castle, and the beloved, Draco Malfoy, will receive a gift in the morning of unusual caliber. This love will be pure, and will be known at long last.

TBC

A/N: Ok, so how was this? I realize that it probably wasn't as good as the collaboration fics that we have in the account, but what can I say? I'm not as talented as the main writer of our main story _Of Unspoken Wounds_. I do hope you review though, as it would do a lot for my timid ego and give me encouragement to continue writing this story. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: I know I know. I realize that I have not yet completed the other fictions, but this one wouldn't go away until after it was written. Few chapter fic, I promise. Not as long as OSW or IINON. So, without further ado, I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I don't own them now, and never will, simple as that.

Title: The Whitest Rose

**Chapter 1: An Admirer True**

Draco Malfoy was sitting at his space at the Slytherin table contemplating Christmas at home once more. Saturday mornings were usually uneventful and this morning Pansy was being her annoying self, hanging off his arm and giggling about some girl thing in his ear while he was trying to eat. Truly annoyed with her, he shook her off and continued eating his breakfast, not noticing a pair of eyes staring at him from across the room.

That was when the post came. A great white owl dropped a package on his plate, and flew off before he could properly respond to the owl. Shrugging slightly, he reached over and opened the package. Inside laid a white rose, and a letter. Disregarding the rose for the moment- and the furious noises emitting from Pansy- he opened the letter and glanced through it once before truly reading it with quiet surprise.

_Draco,_

_We have never been friends. In fact, I believe that should we ever be friends, it would be a feat greater than I could ever imagine. I must tell you that I am one of probably many admirers, and frankly it doesn't surprise me if you had ended up getting many gifts like this throughout the years, but especially since you have grown. _

_But I do not love Malfoy. I love the Draco part of you, the one that only I have seen, because I seem to be the only one that truly watches you. I am not one for sentimental letters, but I must confess that falling in love with you was something I never really expected to happen to me. You have become the world to me, and I see you for not whom you emit, but for the person that I know you are. _

_I know that you walk with grace and poise to you, and that you are ever proud of your heritage as a pureblood, but I must be forthright with you and tell you that I don't care for your status or your money or your looks. I care for the person that I know you can be, for the person I know you are. I don't care if you believe the words of a fool in love, but I know they happen to be true. I know that you take pride in your house as being "fiendish" and "ruthless" but I also happen to know that you only do it so that you can say you were like the rest. People don't question the decisions that you make, and I have great pride in that. I wish that people wouldn't question me, and would treat me more like you, but then I would probably never talk to you as I wish. _

_I want you to know this from me though- I am in love with Draco Malfoy. I don't care about your father, your money, or your power. I care about the fact that I know secrets that no one else knows, just because of things that people have said to you. I love knowing that you will find this letter intriguing and attempt to know who I am, but you cannot trace me, and I will probably never reveal myself to you. I love you Draco Malfoy, and this rose is the purest symbol of love that I could find. _

_I will leave you with this note: A rose can wait for love, but love cannot wait forever if it is not known._

_Sincerely yours,_

_An admirer true_

_P.S. Should you wish to reply to this letter, just call the name of "Richard" and my owl will appear before you once more. He is a special breed, and will beckon to the call of your voice and my own. _

Draco's eyes widened as he read and reread the letter resting in his hands. Picking up the rose carefully, he fingered the petals softly and rolled them around across the fingertips and he marveled at the softness. This admirer was true, the rose he had received was the purest that he had ever seen.

For the rest of the morning, Draco cast spell after spell on the rose and on the letter, trying to figure out whom the rose was from, and at last he began to get frustrated. Closing his eyes, Draco rubbed his temples with a couple of fingers and finally went to his last resort. "Richard," he called softly from behind the covers of the bed. A flapping was heard and suddenly the snow-white owl was sitting upon his bed, looking at him expectantly. When Draco didn't hand him a letter within a couple minutes the bird disappeared in a mist.

Draco's eyes widened as the bird disappeared, and he wondered how such a creature could exist in the world and not have him know about it. Draco sighed again, and pulled a sheet of parchment out with a quill and ink, to write a letter back to this admirer that he'd become so intrigued with.

_Dearest Admirer,_

_I shall call you this for you left no name for me to call you by. I suppose that I must know though. You say we cannot be friends for our social status would not allow us to? I find that oddly absurd on your part, and I must be rather frank with you when I tell you that I don't mind in the least getting to know who you are. _

_You say you know me from watching me. I do not know how exactly this is possible because I'm oddly aware of my surroundings, and frankly there's few people that watch me with as much of an intensity as you speak. I would be lying if I said that you do not intrigue me, but since I do not see you watching me, you must have enough sneakiness to be in the same house as I. _

_However there must be something clear between us. I need to know which of my secrets you know, for there are many that I would not want exposed and would be willing to negotiate with you if necessary to keep you quiet. I do not mean to be overly suspicious, but it is my nature after all. _

_You say you love me, but I do not know how you can love someone without really meeting them, without them knowing whom you are. I'm flattered, truly I am, but I cannot tell you for sure whether or not I hate you because I am not truly aware of the person that you are. Should you reply to this letter, I will be waiting. If you choose not to because I have offended you in some way, then I shall not expect to hear from you again. _

_Sincerely,_

_Draco Malfoy_

Draco reread his letter and smirked in satisfaction. It was obvious that he was in Slytherin for a reason, and that frankly it wouldn't take long for the admirer to give up their identity to him for he knew that by being just so sneaky that they would just have to give themselves up. He waited a short time for a reply from his "admirer" and knew that it wouldn't be long before he found out this identity.

The reply to his letter wasn't what he was expecting out of this person.

_Draco,_

_You make me laugh with the odd absurdity of your letter, and frankly I'm surprised that you'd really want to know who I am at all. I hadn't been expecting a reply really cause I figured that you got enough of these letters that you didn't need and that I was one of many. Now you have me curious. Do you not receive many of these letters or do you reply to them all as you do to mine, out of pure curiosity? _

_You also asked me what secrets of yours I know. I know that you helped a Gryffindor in the hall the other day when they tripped and dropped all their books. You thought no one was around, so you helped her out. I know that you play the piano. You love the feel of the keys beneath your fingers, and I know that you miss playing it when you are in class because I see your hands run over a desk as if it were the keys themselves and press in random places as if you were playing a piano with no sound. I also know that when you play there is sound, but it is just inside your head. I know that you are a Death Eater in training. Then again, most people probably know that just because of the house that you are in and the fact that it is known that your father is a Death Eater as well. _

_I am not one to share and spill secrets that are not mine to give Draco. I am not likely to tell others that you are secretly in love with the piano nor am I likely to tell them that you are becoming a Death Eater because your parents told you to. You do not always have to follow the decisions of your parents, and frankly I'm surprised that you might not have considered something else to do with your life. _

_It is easy to fall in love with someone from afar. I did it didn't I? I know that it is hard to believe that I truly love you, but I do, and I know for a fact that it does not matter one way or the other how I feel because there is already a person close to your heart that I cannot compete with. I do not want to compete with them either. _

_Draco, just remember the rose waits for love but love does not wait forever. Grasp that love with your own hands, and you shall know happiness. _

_Always yours,_

_An Admirer True_

_P.S. Richard was rather annoyed when you called him and didn't have a letter to send. Please don't do that again or we may not ever be able to talk cause he won't want to respond to your voice. Also, thanks for sending me a letter._

Draco stared at the paper in surprise. This person knew many things about him. He wondered what they also knew that they were hiding from him for he knew that they wouldn't want to reveal themselves to him.

Sighing and glancing at a piece of parchment, he began to write another letter to his fair admirer.

TBC

A/N: Ok, so this is a different type of story than you will ever be used to getting from me. Al is currently not able to write at all, so this is Ashley telling you that I am honored to be writing a story that isn't involved with Al, but I'm also going to miss having her guidance very much cause this is the first multi-chapter fic that I'm really doing on my own. I hope you like the story and would like to review it, cause it would give me great pleasure to continue writing this fiction.

Stay tuned for: **Chapter 2: Piano Keys "Rosebud" **


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Look here, I have returned with yet another chapter. This story will end up being around 10 chapters with the prologue and epilogue, but it may have to result in slightly longer chapters. I'm sure that you all don't mind in the least, and frankly I'm pretty sure that while I'm writing, I'm going to have your reviews in mind, and give me more inspiration to finish this story and finish it soon. Without further ado, here is your chapter!

Disclaimer: Standards apply here, like usual. I do not own them now, nor will I ever own them, and I just own the storyline.

Title: The Whitest Rose

**Chapter 2: Piano Keys "Rosebud"**

Draco had only received one more letter from his admirer on Saturday, and he found himself eagerly awaiting another letter to arrive in the mail. He kept glancing up from his breakfast, completely ignoring Pansy in the process, and looking for that white owl. He smirked to himself as he saw a confused look on Pansy's face and toward the windows where the post usually arrived.

"Dray, honey, are you waiting for something? The mail comes at the same time every day you know that," Pansy murmured against his arm as she looked toward where he was. He ignored her like he did every morning though, and kept looking.

Richard, the owl that could appear by name was finally flying through the window and Draco watched as his latest letter circled around toward him. The owl dropped by his plate and held his beak out for Draco to take the letter. Draco stroked Richard's back lightly as he eyed the letter, knowing better than to open the letter at the table again. Feeding the owl a treat, he released it, and it flew of the table and out the window. Draco rushed to finish is breakfast and then ran back to his room to open the newest letter.

_Draco,_

_It's December tenth. There's only fifteen days left until Christmas and I would like to know what you would like to receive. You best tell me because in all honesty, I will get you something whether you want me to or not. I just thought it best to warn you about it, and I want to know what you would like to satisfy part of my insatiable curiosity. _

I won't request anything myself, for being able to talk to you through these letters is better than I could've asked for in relation to a Christmas gift. This communication is my gift to myself, and so I request it is the gift from you as well. I don't care about material things as long as I get to continue talking to you.

Draco paused here for a moment baffled at this admirer. He was going to receive a gift and this other did not care that he didn't get them a gift in return? He decided he would need to ask the most important question that came to mind that very morning, and would send it back with Richard in his next letter.

After finishing the letter from the admirer, Draco started on another of his own, suddenly nervous as he contemplated the possibilities of the admirer taking the timing of the question the wrong way and not responding, or worse, responding in a way that would make him not want to continue having a letter exchange with Draco.

_Admirer,_

_I have something urgent to ask of you. It is not what I desire for Christmas, but it is something that I yearn to know. Are you male or female? I realize I should've asked this question a bit ago, but at the time I didn't care. Should you reply to this letter, I shall send you gift ideas in the next letter. I don't need a Christmas present for you, but you've threatened with getting me one whether I want one or not. So, I will tell you if you ask that question for me. I'm not asking for a name, for I can clearly tell you are not comfortable sharing that piece of information, and so I request the knowledge of knowing your gender instead. _

_I do hope you choose to reply to this letter, for it is something that I cannot seem to stop doing, despite perhaps a bit of "better" judgment. _

_Always, _

_Draco Malfoy_

Draco signed his name with a flourish, just like always and called for Richard. He handed the letter to the owl, and it flew off with the letter in his mouth. Draco paced the room for ages, hoping for a reply, and since he couldn't take it anymore, Draco took off down one of the corridors toward the hidden music rooms.

It was a hobby of his to play the piano, and he often composed music that he considered very beautiful. He had taken his composition book down to the room with him, along with a quill and ink, in case he felt the desire to compose a bit, and sat down on the stool before the keys. They were quiet, much like a flutter of wings from a bird or the quiet chords of a harp.

Draco opened the book to a composition called "Waterfall" and started playing it once more. It seemed like truly ages since his hands had touched the keys of the piano of this room, and ironically enough, the piano was bright white. The grand white piano that sat in the center of this room was enough to make him almost laugh at the irony of the sight of it and comparing it to the rose he had received the day before.

He closed his eyes, because he no longer needed to glance at his music to play this piece. His heart knew this by memory, and his hands had played it so many times that he didn't need to look at them either. It was obvious to anyone who was anyone that Draco was skilled when it came to the pieces he composed. It wasn't often that he had trouble composing a piece or learning a new piece that had been previously written before, for he had a natural talent for the instrument. The piece ended before he obviously realized, and his eyes opened after he realized his hands had stopped moving across the keys, and the fingers had stopped their dancing.

Listening to that piece always gave him inspiration to compose something new, and so he moved to the table in the room, and pulled out his quill and ink. He sat with the book in front of him, and poised his quill over the page. He drew several quarter notes across the staff, then a few eighth notes, and a couple of rests, before continuing with the notes.

Stopping after a short amount of time, Draco shifted his attention to the piano once more and played the notes that had sprung into his mind, and found that he needed to make a couple of the notes flat, and make one sharp as well in one part. His hands rested on the keys, and he couldn't figure out what notes to use next. He supposed it was just as well, for Richard appeared before him once more, with a letter in his beak. Draco sighed a bit before reaching for the bird and taking the letter. Richard stayed put and stared at him, as if expecting something in particular. Draco reached a hand out and the bird walked over to it, until the hand was resting upon his head.

Draco smiled gently as he stroked the bird while he opened the letter with his other hand. He continued to stroke the bird as he read the letter from the admirer.

_Draco,_

_I was wondering how long it would take you to get to that question! Honestly, I had expected it to be in your first letter, but I suppose that you hadn't really cared at the moment, and that you just wanted to know if I was sincere or not. If you are truly curious, which I assume you are, I am male. I realize that it may be a bit uncomfortable for you, but you must know that I am a male who admires you so dearly and so thoughtlessly. _

_I also apologize for not getting this letter to you sooner, for I was unsure of what to write. I couldn't lie to you, for it wouldn't make any sense since you don't have any idea who I am in the least, but I wasn't sure you would want to know if I wasn't a female admirer. If you mind, please reply and tell me that you no longer wish to speak to me. _

_Just so you know, Richard has taken a liking to you it would seem. You must have a way with birds of all sorts don't you Draco? I also noticed that at the table today you were looking for him. I'm glad you like the letters Draco. I truly wish that you do not hold it against me for not revealing myself to you, but I must not for my own pride and your protection. _

_I will also tell you that I do not know if I am truly _gay_ or not, for the only person that I've ever fallen in love with was you. I thought once that I was in love with a girl, but it would seem that to be false considering that I became obsessed with you sometime last year, and realized it after the start of school this year. _

_I can't believe it will be the last year that I can see you, because I also know how that parting with you will probably kill my emotions, but I do not care as long as I continue to experience the happiness that I feel now because of you replying to my letters. I do love you Draco, never doubt that. _

_Sincerely Yours,_

_An Admirer True_

Draco sat stunned after reading the letter. His hand stilled, and Richard squirmed and he resumed as he let the thoughts in his head process properly. The person in love with him was _male_. He loved Draco, yearned for his attention, and wouldn't ever reveal his identity to protect them both.

Draco couldn't think of any men that would want to be with him in a romantic relationship, and it seemed highly doubtful that it would be the person that he was "obsessed" with. This man loved Draco for ages, and knew that he was a seventh year, and is crushed at knowing that he'll never see him again. Perhaps this boy was a seventh year too, and it made him send his reply in haste.

_Admirer, _

_I do not care in the least that you are a male. In fact, I prefer males to females anyway, so it is, in reality, quite a relief that you are part of my preferences and I know that I can have true interest of you. You also do not need to apologize to me for sending a letter a little late, for I do not mind in all honesty that you needed time to think and ponder what it was you were going to tell me. _

_You say you love me, and that I shouldn't doubt it. In all honesty, with each letter I get from you, I keep, and I have doubted it less and less since the second and the third and the fourth letters now. I also am relieved to know that you don't mind that I could have interest in you, and with time, I think I could develop a high interest in you. _

_For now though, I will settle for the fact that you love me, and that you wish to remain anonymous and so that it's not important for you to tell me anything about you. I thought that you should know that you have inspired me to write a song that I've decided to name "Rosebud" because of the white rose that you sent me yesterday. I desire to know who you are and whom you associate with, but I find myself not caring at the moment just because I know that you wish to remain silent about who you are. _

_Frankly, as an admirer goes, you are quite direct in letting me know some things about you as well. You are shy, perhaps a bit coy in nature, and don't desire to hurt me. Therefore I can rule out that you are out to hurt me, or that you are in Slytherin House. I wish to know everything about you, but I will get to know you quietly, as you are getting to know me. _

_I must also ask if you are close to my age. I do not wish to break the heart of a fourth or fifth year, so if that is the case I will apologize now. I do not wish to break your heart, but you must know there is someone that I'm already 'obsessed' with (if you will) and I'm sure he does not know how I feel about him. _

_I will not break you if you are he, but I fear my chances are slim. I will tell you that he is part of the lion's den, and my year as well. I will probably develop a high amount of interest in you as time passes, but if not, know that I am willing to be a friend to you. _

_Sincerely,_

_Draco_

_P.S. I've always wanted to know, why do you always sign with the same phrase?_

Draco glanced over his letter and handed the letter to Richard as he flew off with it in his beak. Draco sighed and slumped against his chair, for there seemed to be no end to the emotions coursing though him.

At first, there was excitement at knowing that more letters would come, but now he felt only despair if he breaks a poor soul by telling them that he is in love with someone already. 'Potter, if you only knew,' Draco thought as he sighed again.

He glanced at his newest composition, and played what he had already had, and didn't know exactly what to think of it. He wanted to scrap the creation that he'd done already, but he figured that he should finish it, and if it was truly bad, as he suspected, he could always start again and keep the parts that he liked.

His heart pounded in anticipation the rest of the day as he waited for the letter that the admirer would send to him that day, but to no avail. He wouldn't hear from the heart of is 'admirer true' the rest of the day, and would spend the rest of the day next to the piano working on the new composition, hoping to spark some interest in the work of the piece.

Draco glanced at the clock around seven that night, and realized that he hadn't ever heard a reply from his admirer, and knew that perhaps it was a way for his admirer to brush him off in a gentle way so that he would not have to feel bad about brushing the poor boy off. Draco sighed in resignation and knew that perhaps he would get a response, but it might be days before it happened.

Frankly, Draco wasn't expecting to have anything happen the rest of the night, but something new would happen to him that he wouldn't ever expect again after that night.

Draco emerged from the music room at nearly midnight, hands black with ink, and heart filled with sorrow. His eyes caught a flash of a body near the door and he turned his head to glance down next to him. His eyes widened in surprise as he saw none other than Harry Potter sitting outside the door. Harry glanced up at him after hearing the door click shut, and Draco's eyes widened at the sight before him. Potter looked like he had possibly been crying.

Draco felt the urgent pull to kneel down next to the boy and ask him what was bothering him, but Draco knew better. But Draco's body didn't listen to him and he knelt down to be eye level with the other boy. It was when Harry spoke his name that snapped him out of the trance he had. "Malfoy?"

"Potter? What are you doing here by yourself, when there's no one else around?" Draco sat next to him against the closed door.

"What makes you think I'm going to tell you?"

"If you don't want to tell me, I understand. I'll just leave," Draco stated shortly moving to stand until he felt one of Harry's hand grasp his wrist and hold him in place.

"You won't be rude?" Harry asked, pain and suspicion mixing in his forest green eyes.

Draco shook his head. "I'm just here to listen to you Potter. I'm not offering advice on my part, just offering a place to put your burdens and guilt."

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Harry asked in a quiet voice.

"That's a long and complicated story that I don't feel like getting into at the moment Potter. I just want to help you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not as mean and cold-hearted as everyone seems to believe I am. I actually do care how other people feel, and if you were not alone, I'd still have the façade. I'm just hoping that you can trust me enough." Draco's eyes settled on a place on the far wall, not willing to meet Harry's eyes. If he did, he would probably spill out his heart to the other boy and tell him everything.

Draco's eyes snapped back to Harry as he sighed in resignation and opened his eyes to stare at Draco again. "All right, I'll tell you everything."

Draco's breath caught in his throat as the green eyes pierced him right to the soul, and Harry opened his mouth to speak.

TBC

A/N: I know, you all probably think I'm evil. I know it already, so don't worry about that, but I couldn't continue the chapter without it ending up nearly 12 pages long, and I can't type that much unless you want to wait a really long time for a chapter. Don't worry though; I'll have another chapter out to you soon. Just wait, you'll find out who the secret admirer is next chapter. Don't die until I get back and make you all want to kill me with another cliffhanger chapter.

Preview: Draco tore open the small package and pulled out a snow globe. It was a globe in the shape of a heart.

Stay tuned for: **Chapter 3: A Heart is a World**


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: Ok, so this is a new chapter for you all to enjoy! I can't believe that I'm this far done with the fic already, and frankly I'm glad that I've gotten to the point where I can tell you that this will be finished in just a few weeks! I know you all want to know who the admirer is, and you will find out shortly!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters now, nor will I ever own them, I'm just borrowing them long enough to play with them.

Title: The Whitest Rose

**Chapter 3: A Heart is a World**

Draco kept glancing down at Harry's eyes, knowing that he was slowly losing himself in their depths, but at the moment he didn't care. Harry closed them after a moment and then shook his head.

"I never thought that I'd be telling a person like you all of this, but I suppose it doesn't matter much, considering that you've obviously changed since I met you for the first time on the train. I'm lonely," Harry said, still shaking his head slightly. Draco was taken aback to know this- who would dare reject the boy wonder? "I'm not all what people think I am, and frankly I don't like shattering the dreams of the hopeful girls that want to date me, but they don't show me any real interest except in being arm and eye candy. They want to be the one that said they dated the "Famous Harry Potter" and don't care that I might actually have feelings inside me." Harry sighs, and looks up at Draco. "I'm not just a shell that likes having attention, because frankly I hate all the attention that I get. Just because I survived death, people make it into a big deal."

Draco burst out laughing. When Harry looked at him like he was about to get up and leave, Draco put a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry Potter it's just that you think it's not a big deal to survive death? It's a hell of a big deal. People want to be able to say that they went to the school that had the "Boy Wonder" and know that perhaps they could be like him and survive death too. They are envious of you Potter, and they practically worship you. They adore the idea of being able to say they dated you because they want to be part of the limelight that follows you everywhere because they're jealous."

Harry contemplated this for a few moments before turning his head back to the silver-eyed boy. "Are you jealous of the attention that I get too?" Draco shook his head, and Harry's eyes widened a bit underneath his glasses. "Why not?" he asked quietly.

Draco chuckled a bit. "Potter, there's never been any reason for me to be jealous of you. I got enough attention on my own, just from goading you and taunting your friends. I didn't need to get the others' attention for myself, because I knew then that provoking you would allow me to get the attention that I desired," Draco said, before looking down at his feet. "I was only jealous over the fact that you rejected me that first day, and I felt like I had to pay you back somehow, and so I was rude and vile when, really, I know I didn't need to be," Draco stated softly eyes falling closed.

"So you were rude and vile because I didn't want to be your friend?"

"My father told me to get close to you then, but after that, I didn't care because I let my feelings get the better of me and I became petty and hurt. I didn't know what else to do, because you had already rejected my offer of friendship, and I thought that perhaps you would come to your 'senses'," Draco said glancing up at Harry's face for a brief second.

"And when I didn't?"

Draco sighed and closed his eyes again, shaking his head. "That was when I knew we were too different to ever be friends, so I retained the part that I played as the arrogant prick that thought I was always better than you. Trust me, Potter, you're better off not being associated with me like that, and I'm relieved most days that you aren't."

Harry was confused enough, since he thought he'd be the one spilling his guts to his enemy, but the tables turned and it seemed to be the other way around. Draco was being fully honest with him, and there was nothing that would be changing the way he thought of the boy ever again after this instant. Harry's eyes softened and he cupped the boy's face in his hands.

"Malfoy, would you believe me if I told you that I trust your judgment, but no longer want you to stay away?" Harry's eyes were full of light, and he wanted to kiss the other boy, but Draco pulled from his grasp.

"Potter, I don't think it's best that you associate with people like me," Draco said with an indifferent tone. "I can't cure your loneliness because I can't cure my own. I suggest you find yourself someone besides me to be around, because I won't be like this in the morning when you see me again." Draco swept off, robes billowing out behind him in a very Snape-like manner.

It was Harry's turn to chuckle a bit. "Oh, Draco, you can cure my loneliness, if only you knew. If only you knew how I really felt about you."

oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo

Draco rushed off to his room, tears threatening to spill over down his cheeks and damning Harry all the way there. 'Damn him! Damn him for making me feel like this, damn him for obviously knowing how I feel about him and playing with me, damn him for not being in Slytherin, damn him for making me fall in love!' Draco thought in anger and sorrow.

Hitting the pillow of his bed in his private rooms in the dungeons, Draco started to cry despite trying to stop. The tears spilled over, and he couldn't stop them. The tears were hot and painful, and the fact that he didn't have any noises emitting from him meant that he wouldn't let himself break completely.

A little later, when the tears had subsided, he wrote another letter to the admirer.

_Admirer, _

_I have not heard from you in a while. I miss the constant letters that I've been receiving from you for the last few days, and it makes me worry that I've hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, and I would like to get to know you better. _

_If I have hurt you, please tell me for I did not mean to, and I didn't want to either. You are sweet, and kind, unlike me, and frankly if I have hurt you, it is fault on my part. It is not your fault in any way that you have feelings for me, and know that I am starting to care what you think of me. _

_Please, please, return Richard with another letter from you. I do not ever wish to hurt your feelings, and I just want to know if you are all right. _

_Sincerely Yours,_

_Draco_

Draco signed his name with a flourish and called for Richard again. "Please tell him that I apologize," Draco said when he gave the bird his letter and a pat on the head. The owl just eyed him and disappeared in his usual mist, and Draco sat, just waiting for the tears to come once more as he waited for a reply to his letter.

oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo

Richard swooped into the room where the admirer was waiting. "Thank you Richard," the boy said quietly, not wanting to wake his roommates. The Gryffindor opened the letter, and his eyes softened quietly. Green eyes ran over the parchment, and didn't miss the few teardrop spots that ran the ink slightly.

Harry sighed, knowing he hurt the boy. 'Draco must know that I know as well the feelings he has for me,' Harry thought looking out the window. 'But what can I tell him? I am not allowed to reveal my identity unless he guesses it, and since I am good at hiding, I don't know how he will ever know that it is _I_ that is sending him letters. Nor does he know that he will be receiving more flowers tomorrow, as an apology.' Harry sighed again quietly, and stared at the moon. He fell back on his head, throwing an arm over his eyes. 'Oh Draco,' He thought in desperation as he closed his eyes.

Opening them a short time later, he sat up and grabbed the familiar parchment and quill and ink. He started on a new letter to Draco, knowing that he had to be careful what he was going to reveal about himself to the other boy.

oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo

Draco's eyes were bloodshot. That was the only way to describe it for he had been up crying most of the night away, and waiting for another letter from the admirer. When no other letter came that night, Draco was ready to give up hope when he saw the familiar white owl flying towards him carrying a package again.

Draco smiled slightly, knowing that the admirer had planned something; perhaps it was a way that he showed his acceptance for the apology that Draco had offered the night before. Richard came to land next to his plate as he did most mornings now, and Draco fed him another owl treat. He gently hugged the creature, who seemed to appreciate the gesture. "Thank you, Richard," Draco murmured against the owl's feathers. Richard nipped his ear quickly before flying off.

The green eyes belonging to none other than Harry watched the exchange with softened eyes.

Draco opened the package in earnest, not caring who saw what he received, and saw more white roses, but not as white as the one he received on Saturday. He broke out in a grin when he saw the familiar scrawl of the admirer underneath said roses. The letter was heavier than normal, for perhaps he had a lot to say to Draco for not returning two of his letters to the boy. Draco slipped the letter into his pocket, and breathed in the scent of the white roses as he held them to his nose.

Draco bounded out of the great hall, seemingly happy once again, knowing that perhaps he was not as hated as he believed he was. He took the roses to the dungeon, dropping them off in his room before going to the first class of the day, Potions. He arrived early, and saw another package, this one small. Draco looked at it, and knew it was in his assigned seat, and glanced at it. There was a small note underneath it, and he picked it up.

_Draco, _

_I would never be mad at you. I don't know where you got that crazy idea, but know this: I do not hate you now, nor have I ever. Don't open this gift now, save it until you are alone. It is special, unlike the flowers you received this morning. _

_As always,_

_An Admirer True_

Draco's heart almost burst under the happiness that he was feeling at the moment, and he knew that he could easily learn to love such a man, but there was still that nagging voice in the back of his head that would tell him to remember Harry.

Draco ignored it for the moment while he slipped the package into his pocket, just in time because students started pouring into the classroom. Harry glanced at him as the passed by, and Draco caught his eye, and gave him a small nod.

No insults were exchanged throughout the period, and Draco viewed it as a rather pleasant experience until he was tracked down by Granger.

"Malfoy!" Draco cringed when he heard the Mudblood call out to him.

"What do you want Granger? I don't have all day," Draco said, eyes cool as he rested against a wall.

"What was up with you in Potions today? I didn't see any sneering, any name calling, and any rudeness."

"What about it?"

"Why are you being so polite?"

"It doesn't matter, and frankly, it's really none of your business. Now, get away from me before you give me reason to be rude to you," Draco all but snarled at the other girl. He started walking away towards his next class when he heard her again.

"I just wanted to thank you Malfoy," Granger called after him. Draco snorted loud enough for her to hear him, and continued on his way.

oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo

Draco continued throughout the day with the weight of the other present in his pocket. When his last class finally ended, Draco rushed off to his room and plopped himself down on his bed, only to see Richard sitting there again, who squawked a bit in protest at the sudden movement. Draco reached over and stroked his feathers in apology and saw another letter upon his pillow from his admirer.

He opened the letter first while still petting the bird.

_Draco, _

_I assume by the time you receive this letter it is when you arrive back to your room and want to open the present. I'm sorry to ask this of you, but I need you to return the present to me for just a bit. I realize you are probably a bit angry with me as you read this, and so I apologize. There is something on it that I must check before I want you to see, because I want it to be the most perfect gift that you ever received from anyone. _

Draco nodded at the letter. He was angry. But he sighed and handed Richard the package to fly off with it before he continued reading the letter.

_I know that you were anxious all day to open it, because you kept it in your pocket along with the other letter that you probably have yet to open, and so I apologize from the bottom of my heart and hope you will not hold it against me for asking you to return it to me for a short time._

_Yours,_

_An Admirer True_

Draco reached into his pocket and pulled out the other letter. Did he want to read this letter now, or did he want to wait until the gift came back? He put the letter aside on his night table and started working on his homework.

A couple hours later, while Draco was working diligently on his Transfiguration homework, Richard flew into the room with the familiar white package in his mouth. Draco bounded out of his bed and caught Richard before he landed on the ground. The owl looked at him thankfully as Draco took the package from him. Draco stroked his feathers a bit before whispering, "Return to your master," and the owl disappeared.

Draco tore open the small package and pulled out a snow globe. Draco looked at it a bit confused, before what was inside caught his eye. It was a globe in the shape of a heart. There was a button on the base that read _Push Me_. Draco did just that. A projection shot out of the top of the globe, and the heart began to rotate inside.

A poem started to appear, line by line in the air, and Draco's eyes widened as he read it.

_With eyes like ice and body like ivory  
__There is so much more to my love  
__There is a ringing in my ears that call your name  
__In the darkest of nights, when most would sleep  
__You are the one I love_

_There is a world in every heart,  
__And in that world is the one that you love  
__And in the world of my heart lies  
__That so special person that I love_

_Draco Malfoy is his name  
__I call your name out through the night  
__As you stay forever in my thoughts and  
__Embed yourself upon my very soul_

_My heart is a world,  
__Bigger than you could ever know  
__You are my thoughts and breath  
__My movement and my heartbeat  
__My world and my love_

_There is no other way to tell you  
__Other than I love you  
__My heart is yours to fill  
__Burst with love or deny me  
__And my world depends upon you  
__And the heart is a world  
__So do with my heart what you will- my world is yours_

Draco sat stunned, feeling the depth of the poem, knowing that this admirer was not joking as he wrote this for him, and thought that perhaps it wouldn't end as fast as he thought. Draco's eyes widened as he felt a pang shoot him. Desire? It couldn't possibly be. Pain? There was no reason to feel pain, so that couldn't be it. That's when Draco realized what feeling it was.

Love.

It was such a simple word, love. Draco knew that he wouldn't be able to survive such a love without knowing the identity of such a man. The world inside the globe stopped spinning and Draco reached for the other letter that he had set aside, and opened it with shaking fingers.

_Draco,_

_You asked me a lot about myself lately you realize. You told me that I'm shy, and just want to hide. It is not the case. I want you to know who I am, but there is something that I must tell you. I cannot tell you more that what the text tells me, for it is a type of secret spell that I keep deep inside myself and in my heart. _

_The first rose you received was not an ordinary rose. It conceals my identity and lets you know that I love you. In exchange, I must always remain anonymous until you discover my true identity for yourself, and I'm not sure how long it would take you to realize who I really am to you. _

_You are the typical Slytherin, trying to get me to fall into a trap, no matter how well set. I will tell you something else about myself. I am in Gryffindor, and I am close to your age, so you do not have to worry about breaking the heart of a youngster. What bothers me, is the fact that you tell me not to be hurt when you tell me that you are in love with someone, and that you could possibly "settle" for me since the person you love will never love you in return. _

_That bothers me a bit, but frankly it doesn't bother me enough to stop sending you these letters, or to make you try and fall deeply and madly in love with me. I want you to be mine, Draco Malfoy, and I will probably not stop until you are either mine, or you have rejected me completely. _

_The roses that I sent you this morning are an apology for making you worry that I hate you, and hope that you will forgive me as well. I did not mean to be so elusive or secretive, but I must so that you will not kill a part of my heart, since it does truly belong to you. _

_You are the most amazing and wonderful person Draco, and never forget that, despite what others may tell you. I love you dearly, and do hope to hear from you soon. _

_The other piece of parchment that I'm supplying you with is for you to write your guesses upon, so that I do not have to keep track of whom everyone you have guessed. _

_I hope to hear from you soon, really I do. I love you Draco, and I hope you loved your other gift. _

_As always,_

_An Admirer True_

Draco sat back in shock. He couldn't really breathe after the experience of reading such a letter. The admirer had poured out his heart and soul to Draco that day, and he wasn't sure of how to respond to such a powerful letter and such an amazing gift.

The admirer was wrong though; Draco was not amazing or wonderful. He pulled the nearest pillow into his lap and he hugged it tight as if it were a stuffed animal. HE didn't want the love to fade, but how was he supposed to tell the admirer that he had fallen in love with him after just a couple of days of receiving gifts and letters? He couldn't.

Draco's eyes clenched shut tightly, and he felt the flutter of wings behind him, and Richard was standing on his bed, letter in beak. Draco took it and petted the bird for a bit before it flew off.

The night was long, and Draco knew he wouldn't be getting any more sleep that night.

oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo

Harry didn't hear from Draco the rest of the night, and his heart fell a little. Was the other gift of the snow globe too much for him to handle at the moment? Did he hate the admirer for putting him on the spot like that, or was he moved but wasn't sure how to reply? Harry wasn't sure, and it gave him worry, so he did not make it to sleep that night either.

Richard did not return with a letter the next morning either, so Harry knew something was wrong. He grabbed another piece of parchment and wrote a desperate letter to arrive at breakfast.

oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo

'This won't do,' Harry thought the next morning at breakfast when he saw Draco take the letter but put it into his pocket. 'This won't do at all.' Draco had merely looked bored at the letter before putting it into his pocket, and that's what sent Harry over the edge. Tears immediately sprang into Harry's eyes and he rushed from the table and back to the tower where he flopped himself down onto his bed and cried.

Hermione made her way up the stairs, and over to his bed so that she could comfort him. She had no idea what could cause such a sudden breakdown, but she also figured that it wasn't her place to ask why.

Dumbledore walked into the room a couple hours later to see Hermione clutching Harry's head to her chest as he cried. The twinkle from his eyes faded as Hermione looked at him in desperation. He motioned for her to give Harry to him, and Hermione made her way out of the room and down to the remainder of her classes. Harry continued to cry against Dumbledore's chest, and knew that no matter what else came over him, there would be no pain like the one he experienced from having a type of obvious rejection from the person he loved so dearly. Dumbledore felt the tears and sobs subside, and he pulled Harry up once more, glancing into the youth's eyes, his own full of concern.

"Harry, my boy, what on earth happened to you?" Dumbledore asked with clear concern in his voice. However, before Harry could answer, Richard appeared at his side with another letter in his beak. It was too soon for Draco to be able to return a letter, and saw that it was the one he had sent that morning. He turned it over, and noticed that the seal upon it had not been broken yet, and Harry's eyes burned. They longed to cry once more, but could not. The tears had run dry.

Harry shook his head and said to Dumbledore in the steadiest voice he could muster, "I can't tell you sir. It's a private matter. All I can tell you is that it involves a white rose."

Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up a bit as he glanced at the boy sitting before him. "A white rose?"

Harry nodded. "A rose is a symbol of love, and white is pure, thus I show him my pure love with a white rose."

Dumbledore nodded. "So the target of your affection is Mr. Malfoy I presume," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling with mischief. At Harry's shocked expression he just shook his head at the boy. "You think I haven't noticed that owl of yours delivering gifts of white roses to him?" Harry glanced down at his feet, a blush evident on his cheeks. "Do not worry my boy, I am not going to publish your secret in the _Daily Prophet_. No, I'm going to let you take care of this problem yourself. You know the limitations you have by delivering that white rose though don't you?"

Harry nodded. "I knew the consequences before I set out looking for the rose. I know my limitations sir, and I have not come close to violating any of them. If Draco guesses who I am, the spell will be lifted and I will be able to confirm his suspicions, but I cannot tell him myself or the rose will die, and part of me dies with it. I will not fail in making him understand, sir." Harry's eyes burned with determination.

Dumbledore only nodded before sweeping out of the room.

A/N: Ok, I'm evil. I'm truly evil. I bet you're all wondering why Draco returned the letter, and such? Well, you'll be finding out in the next chapter! I realize that it is a bit of a long wait, I mean a WHOLE week, but I'm sure you can handle it. The next chapter is actually almost done, as you read this, so be sure to review for another long chapter. I do hope you like long chapters, because for a while you'll be receiving them.

Preview for next chapter: He stood at the archway, waiting for a package, and the owl swooped a package down to his feet. A small smile crossed his face, and he knew the world was all right again.

Stay tuned for: **Chapter 4: Roses for Christmas**


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: Ok, so I'm back with another chapter, and I bet you're all happy about this right? RIGHT? Anyway, I just thought I'd tell you that you have another LONG chapter ahead of you. According to my page track on the last chapter you got a TEN-page chapter. Isn't that amazing? I'll tell you at the end how many pages this one was, and I'm sure you'll be surprised. It's a bit longer than the last chapter as you may have noticed, and I hope that you don't mind that the chapters are long, instead of many many short chapters so you didn't have to wait so long for updates. This chapter also marks the halfway point in the story, so you know that the story is going to have to come to a close in a few weeks. Ok, enough with the long author's note I suppose, and on with the story!

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me. Ok, I lied, ONE character belongs to me and that's the white owl Richard. That's it though; all the others belong to the marvelous J.K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing them for a bit to make them do all sorts of unspeakable things.

Title: The Whitest Rose

_**WARNINGS:**_All right, well here goes. There are slight mentions of masturbation and other sexual content in this chapter. I will not warn you any further. You'll be able to figure it out for yourself, I'm sure.

Chapter 4: Roses for Christmas

Draco went to his room at the end of the day, regretting having Richard return the letter to the admirer unopened, but he couldn't respond to the other boy just yet. It was of near impossibility that he would respond coherently, and so he could not get anymore letters or he would surely write something that he didn't mean.

Tears sprang to the eyes of Draco Malfoy and he buried himself into his bed and cried silently, tears cascading down his cheeks and silent sobs racking his body in violence. He heard the flutter of wings, and a new letter appeared next to his bed, and Richard sat, with an annoyed look on his face, and Draco sniffled before reaching for the letter. He clutched it to his chest, and then looked at the color of it. It was a howler. He looked at the scrawl across it and noticed it was the admirer's handwriting. He opened it, anticipating an angry letter of demands. Instead, the voice was quiet, and sad sounding.

"Draco, I honestly thought that we were off to a good start. It seems that perhaps I was mistaken after all." The voice paused and Draco's heart clenched. "I still love you deeply, and I meant what I said. I don't want to be second best to you, I want to be your main man. I don't care if you hate me now, or if you never want to see Richard again, but please at least respond to the letter that you're listening to now. You are breaking me Draco Malfoy, a feat that's hard to do." Draco listened hard, and noted that the admirer was whispering so that he couldn't recognize the voice inside. "I love you Draco, so please at least respond to this. Richard will follow you wherever you go until you send a letter back to me. I have him trained quite well in such regards. Please return yourself to me Draco, for I miss you deeply. An Admirer True."

Draco's heart clenched again, and he glanced at the bird whose eyes had sympathy in them. Draco sighed and pulled out a howler of his own to respond to the admirer. He stood up and started to pace as he composed the letter and began. "Admirer, you asked me to respond to the howler you sent me. I am unsure of what to tell you. I do not know how to tell you or expand upon my emotions, but I know I must. They are confused and muddled. To be honest with you, I am falling in love with you." Draco paused, biting his lip. "The snow globe you sent me with the world in a shape of a heart moved me beyond words. I have never felt worshiped before, but with that gift I did, and frankly it unnerved me a little bit. But it was because of that, and because of your nature that has made me analyze the things that I feel for you, and know that I am falling in love with you. I know that you don't want to be second to the person that I already love, but at the moment it can't be helped. But when you didn't respond to my letter right away either, I felt broken and wanted to die in anticipation, but I knew that you could not not send a letter to me for good reason. Richard, he is a marvelous bird, and frankly I'm glad that you and I both get along so well with him, because I would fear that I seem to anger birds easily. I'm getting off track I'm realizing now too." Draco sighed before glancing at the wall and at Richard before continuing. "I am falling deeply in love with you, and I realize that's it is kind of an odd thing to say to someone who wasn't expecting his feelings returned, but it is really all that I can tell you with certainty. I feel jealous at not knowing who you are, at not being able to have you tell me who you are because of a stupid legend, and I am angry that I am dense and cannot tell who, in fact, you are. I want to know, as I want to know everything about you. I may never figure out who you are, but you must know, and know it well, you have become an important part of my life. I will make you my number one man as soon as I figure out who you are, no matter WHO you are. I apologize again for not being able to be a bit clearer about how I feel or give you a complete explanation to you for not returning your letter. Hope to hear from you soon Admirer. Draco."

With a sigh, Draco finished the letter and sealed it, handing it to Richard who squawked a bit before flying off with it. Twenty minutes passed. An hour. Three hours. Draco couldn't wait any longer, so he wandered out of the dungeon, cloak in hand and scarf in the other, pulling them on as he walked. He wandered outside, knowing that it was still well before curfew, but after dinner. Not eating dinner that day didn't bother him any; he just wasn't hungry. The sky had clouded over, and the dark gray clouds gave a low rumble. New, white snow was falling onto the faded white of the snow on the ground, and Draco tilted his head up to the sky.

He sighed, breath coming out in a white puff of air, as if he were smoking. He turned his head, and saw the archway that led to a part of the castle that hadn't been used in years and he turned to go through it, when he saw another figure pass underneath it. He crept along, hoping to catch a glimpse of the other person, but he couldn't see clearly in the darkness. So instead he moved a bit closer, only to have the figure disappear on him, and when he rushed under the archway too, he didn't see anyone. It could've been his eyes playing tricks on him again, but part of him doubted it. Shrugging slightly, he moved along the path until he came to a familiar wooden bridge and glanced down at the frozen river. He gave another sigh, this one a bit heavier than the last, and continued to stare at the riverbed, with the unmoving water shining back up at him.

He felt the presence of another person near him, but he ignored it, until it came up next to him. "Malfoy," the voice said. Draco smirked. 'Potter,' he thought slightly amused. "What are you doing out here?"

"Potter, I could ask you the same question you know."

"Touché." Draco said as he heard Harry chuckle next to him. "You knew about this place?" Draco asked in the quietest tone he knew.

"Of course I did. I come out here when I need to think. Sometimes I go to the hidden courtyard just beyond those vines. Not many know about that either." Harry murmured just loud enough for Draco to hear. "Did you know that I'm leaving after this term is over?"

Draco's head shot up to look at the other boy who was staring down at the river as well. "You're leaving? When?"

"In a couple weeks, just after the new year. I'm technically graduating early." Harry said, tone a little sullen.

Draco nodded. "I see." Draco's eyes fell a little, but still continued to stare at the other boy. Harry turned his eyes to him and looked a little downward at Draco. "Are you happy to be able to graduate early?" Draco asked quietly, knowing that it was possible that he could feel sad about the fact.

Harry nodded. "I suppose so, I mean, I guess I always figured that I'd be graduating with the rest of the seventh years, but since I started a type of extra classes with Dumbledore and such, it just seems to be that I get to leave early in preparation of my battle with Voldemort. Are you going to be sad that I'm not going to be around anymore?"

Draco didn't know how to answer that properly. He just looked up at the other boy whose green eyes were focused on his face and on him alone. Draco told himself not to blush under the intensity of that stare, but his body didn't quite listen to him. A light blush started to creep onto his cheeks and suddenly he was staring at Harry right back, knowing full well that he was probably bright red.

When he turned his head down again, he heard a low chuckle emit from Harry and knew that even in the darkness Harry could tell that he was blushing like a little schoolgirl. "You're an interesting fellow Malfoy," Harry murmured against his ear. Harry's breath was hot against his ear as he murmured into it, "It's not every day that I make someone blush just by starting at them."

Draco just turned his head a little further away as Harry moved closer to him, and a shiver ran down his spine as Harry brushed his lips against his ear. "Potter, stop it," Draco murmured against his ear. Draco felt Harry shiver in return of him saying his name.

"Draco," Harry murmured very quietly before reaching out and cupping Draco's face in his hands again. Draco's mind wasn't keeping up with the actions that the body was going through and frankly Draco didn't know how to react. Harry's lips were on his, brushing lightly, as if telling him a secret.

That was when it occurred to Draco. Potter was kissing him. _Potter_ was kissing _him_. Draco's eyes slid closed in contentment as he started to thread his fingers through Harry's hair, pulling the other boy tighter against him and deepening the kiss. Harry pulled away for a second to get some are and breathe out Draco's name again, upon his lips before he pushed his lips upon Draco's once more. Draco didn't think anything of it considering that his mind was highly clouded over from the kiss.

Harry finally pulled away, and Draco's eyes snapped open after the pressure against his lips had stopped at last. Blushing furiously, Draco fled the bridge back up to the castle, not seeing the smirk upon Harry's face, or the low chuckle that emitted from his throat. Thoughts of Harry chased Draco all the way up the castle right back up into his room, and he collapsed onto his bed, huffing from all the running he'd just done.

Draco's eyes filled with tears. He never knew that Potter was like that- a poof like himself. Draco's breathing was staggered, and very shallow until he realized that it wouldn't be long before he would pass out from exhaustion if he didn't calm himself down a bit. Draco took his head in his hands and put himself into a type of trance and meditation to calm his breath and to calm his wildly beating heart. It was thumping its way out of his chest, and his eyes closed gently.

That was when Harry's kiss snapped back into his mind and he felt a tightening of his trousers. He groaned and pushed his hand underneath them to take care of his problem from that memory. Draco spotted Richard flying into the room, another red letter in hand. Draco knew better than to think he could track whose voice was inside, but figured he could use a first or second guess on that parchment that the other boy had given him.

Draco opened it with vigor, knowing that he was anxious to hear the admirer's voice once more, not even bothering to hide his glee at receiving another letter from him. Draco's heart caught as he heard the first line of the howler.

It was a sniffle. A sniffle before he heard his name whispered in almost utter quietness. "Draco," It paused for another sniffle. "Draco, you must realize that the letter that you sent in return was the best gift that I have ever received from you, and I know that I will not be able to make it up to you. It is now that I wish I could tell you, but I cannot. I must know what you want for Christmas, for it is only days away now." The letter paused again, and he knew that he was done for.

"I want to get you the most special gift of all Draco. But alas, I do not know what that is, for all I know is that you like roses and myself. That is all that I'm truly aware of though." There was another pause, and Draco knew right then that he would not deny this man anything if it was truly what he wanted him to do. "I never wanted to make you fall in love with me Draco. I wanted to know you, and I wanted to have you get to know me with passing time, but I never wanted to make you stop loving someone just so you would be with me. I somehow won your heart, and to my joy, I have never wanted to be with you more than I do now." There was another pause, a long one at that, and it made Draco wonder if the letter was done speaking to him. "But…" There was that pause again. "But all I want is for you to be happy with whatever you want Draco. If that means being happy with knowing me, getting to know me, and knowing that there's someone who cares about you deeply, then I'm glad as well. If what you want is to never have me speak to you again, I'll respect that wish, despite the fact that I won't be happy about it, for you want it. If you want something Draco, I will give it to you, for I cannot deny you anything at all."

There was a slight sigh into the letter as the admirer continued this verbal journey into voicing the feelings, the deepest ones he had, to Draco. Draco's breath caught in his throat as the whisper was a little louder as it voiced, "Draco Malfoy, you own my heart. I will give you what you desire, but I will also ask something in return of you. I want you to make your first guess as to who exactly you think I am, for knowing what you think is driving me up the wall with curiosity and desire to know the inside of your mind. Please write a letter to me in response to this- I miss your handwriting just a little because your voice gives me shivers and sometimes I cannot think coherently when I listen to your howler again and again. Draco, my love, my light, my star in the sky, I love you more than life itself, so please, please respond to this letter with an answer to my request, and then I shall tell you anything that you desire to know except for my name. I love you and hope to hear from you soon. An Admirer True."

Draco's eyes filled with tears. He couldn't decide for himself who this marvelous man was, let alone give him an answer to that request. But Draco complied with the request, and pulled the blank parchment out and wrote down the first name that came to mind: Dean Thomas. Draco's lip quivered a little as he hoped that it wasn't him, but Draco knew he couldn't be terribly picky about this man, for this man had made Draco fall for him. He made Draco fall, and fall harder than he thought possible from knowing an admirer.

Draco flopped down on his bed as he finished his letter and called for Richard once more. The beautiful snow-white owl appeared before Draco who took both pieces of parchment into his beak before flying off in his mist. Draco knew that it wouldn't be long before he got a reply, hopefully it wouldn't be the first person he guessed.

Too much time passed for Draco to be patient any longer so he picked up his composition book, quill, and ink and made his way down to the music room once more with his white piano. As he set his hand on the doorknob, he heard a quiet and gorgeous tune playing through the wall. Draco gulped a little and opened the door a crack to see the person he so desired sitting on the bench playing the piano. Harry was there before him, clearly playing the piano without another care in the world, and Draco knew that this was his chance. Draco pushed the door open a little bit, knowing full well that it would squeak and make Harry known of his presence, and Harry did indeed look up to see who was walking inside.

Harry's eyes were glowing brightly as Draco approached the grand piano, and set his things atop it, a smirk on his face. "Malfoy, I didn't think you'd ever come back here after what happened the last time that you were here," Harry said grinning at the other boy.

"Potter, to be honest with you, I didn't think you were the type who learned an instrument as a child." Malfoy smirked a bit and knew full well that Harry couldn't have _really_ been playing the piano that beautifully.

"I didn't learn as a child. I learned from Dumbledore. Snape has had lessons as well and taught the Headmaster years ago, who in turn taught me. I mostly just compose my own music now, considering that there's no reason for me to play imitations of the other pieces. Seeing as how I can't follow things too well, Dumbledore thought it would be better if I composed pieces instead of trying to copy the pieces that I was learning note for note." Harry just looked at the keys for a bit before playing a bit of a jazz tune.

"You seem like the classical type Malfoy," Harry muttered low, knowing full well that Draco would hear him.

"I do like classical, and I like the blues types of pieces as well. Unfortunately, I cannot copy either with accuracy, so I just compose what sounds good to me. Like for instance, this piece," Draco stated haughtily as he flipped open his book to his piece called "Waterfall". "I adore this piece more than I can truly say, and I'd be honored if you'd play it for me." Draco's eyes caught the utterly surprised look in Harry's before Harry reached out and took the book from Draco and putting it in front of him.

Harry's eyes swept over the page, taking in the notes and the rhythmus before playing it in a slightly faster tempo than Draco himself would've played it. "Potter, start over and slow down the tempo. It always sounds better if it has a tempo of around eighty instead of a one hundred or a one hundred and ten." Harry nodded and began again, at a much slower tempo than he had been playing at before and knew that he was doing well when he caught a quick glance up at Draco who had a smile, though a very small one, playing at the corners of his lips. Harry's breath caught a bit, knowing that Draco was beautiful in his own way, and it was the way that made Harry fall in love with him.

Harry turned his attentions back to the piece in front of him; glancing down at his fingers every now and then, making sure he was staying where he needed to. Draco's eyes were glowing throughout the piece, and knew that Harry was meant to play pieces like this- ones that Draco himself had composed. Draco was ready to pull the booklet away when Harry turned back a few pages and started on another piece called "Emerald Eyes" and glanced up at Draco for a reaction.

Harry got the exact reaction he was looking for. Draco's eyes widened and he snatched the booklet up from the stand and clutched it to his chest. "Malfoy, something wrong?" Harry asked, sliding the bench back far enough for him to rise up and stand next to Draco. "Did you not want me to see that piece? Is it something that you have to hide from me?" Harry was stepping closer and closer to Draco with each question, and Draco knew full well that he wouldn't last under the onslaught of the questions and desired to know exactly how Harry seemed to know exactly how to play his emotions. Draco wrenched himself away from Harry and did what the typical Slytherin did when he didn't know what to do with his emotions; he ran away with his tail between his legs.

Unfortunately, the usual tactic of running wouldn't faze Harry that night. Harry caught up with him easily, knowing that Draco could've truly escaped had he really wanted to. Draco wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, or not according to Harry anyway. Harry's eyes were glowing as he pinned Draco up against the door, making Draco lightly drop his things to the carpeted floor of the music room as Harry leaned forward and kissed him lightly upon the lips, placing his hands on either side of Draco's head against the door.

Harry didn't move for a bit until he felt Draco move underneath him, sliding hands up around his neck and moving his lips with steady pressure against his. Harry pulled himself back slightly, and put a hand behind Draco's neck and back as he pulled Draco with him. Harry settled Draco against himself. Draco's eyes fell closed, and he twined himself further against Harry, wanting to feel as much as possible through just physical contact. Harry, slightly taller than the other boy, tipped Draco's head back so he could have better access to his mouth as he swiped his tongue over the lower lip, begging and asking silently for entrance to the other boy's mouth.

Draco felt he had no reason but to comply with the silent demands. He slid his mouth open slowly, as if it were the first time kissing someone like this, in this trusting manner, but Draco didn't care. Harry slid his tongue into the willing boy's mouth, as he tasted him for the first time. Merlin! Harry's tongue was soft against his and was exploring gently, as if not wanting to frighten him into pulling away. Harry also had the quick addicting taste of cinnamon, and smelled an awful lot like vanilla, making Draco curse under his breath slightly.

Harry slid the hand on Draco's neck to his back and pulled him even closer, sliding one hand down to the small of Draco's back to push their lower halves against one another. Draco groaned against Harry's mouth, and that was when the kiss suddenly changed. Harry could no longer remain at the same slow, careful pace that he had set for himself at the beginning of the kiss. Harry pushed against Draco's mouth desperately, tasting him as if their kiss would end too soon and it would be the last one they would ever have together. All the passion he'd felt for the other boy was coming out in this kiss, and Draco knew he wouldn't last long under such a passionate display of emotion before he confessed himself to the other boy.

But when Harry pulled away to breathe, he moved himself down to Draco's neck, lightly kissing him there before biting it lightly, making Draco jump a little and sigh quietly. Harry did it again, just a little harder this time, and made Draco wince a little, but quickly soothed the pain away with his tongue. Then suddenly Harry's claimed Draco's mouth once more, and he was getting heady from the taste of Harry's mouth, knowing that this occurrence couldn't happen anymore. It was becoming too much for him to handle, and he knew that he would soon confess when Harry pulled away again.

So, despite his body's protests to continue, Draco pulled away slowly, breaking the kiss. Harry looked at him curiously, as if wondering what he had done wrong. He was also clearly thinking that, for his eyes were no longer glowing, but were dull with a clear look of concern and confusion shining as clear as day inside them. Draco shook his head. "Potter, this isn't something that we should be doing. I told you, I'm not the person that can make you happy," Draco said, immediately having his heart clench in disgust at pushing the one he loved so dearly away from him.

Harry growled a little suddenly, and thrust Draco away from his body. "_God damnit Draco!_" Harry bellowed through the room. Draco was taken aback at the sudden outburst from the other boy and knelt to pick up the things he dropped onto the floor. "Why?" Harry's voice was harsh; hurt ringing in it, and remorse as well.

"Potter, it wouldn't work. Hell it _couldn't_ work." Draco went to set the things on the piano again, knowing full well that Harry was enraged and probably didn't want him to stick around.

"Why?" Harry asked again, a calmer voice settling over him.

"Because, Potter, we don't fit. We're mortal enemies, and granted while we still don't hate each other, we have to act like we do. If my father found out that I was associating with you like this, he'd have my head. And don't think that I mean that figuratively. I'm leaving in less than a week for Christmas break, and I will be returning home. I don't need to be thinking about you at a time like this, so near exams and knowing that you are going to be leaving before I even return from home. So frankly, I would rather not do this at all, because it would spare both of us the pain."

"If it wasn't for those things, would you be willing to give us a try? Would you be willing to give me a chance to get to know you, to develop a relationship with you that weren't all smiles in the dark and glares in the day? And what do you mean that you don't need to be "thinking about me at a time like this?" Is there something that you have neglected to tell me about whatever it is we have now? I know that we aren't really friends, considering most of the time when we talk it turns into making out. And what of the pain? Why not stay here for Christmas break, and spend it with me? My friends are all leaving this winter, and I won't see them again for a long time. I can't leave the castle this year to go to Ron's house, so I'm going to be all alone for the break, with only the teachers to keep me company. How do you think I feel? How do you think I feel knowing that I want you and that I can't have you because you're too stubborn for a normal Slytherin and refuse to give us a chance? Are you saying that you're afraid of it becoming serious, or are you afraid that you might actually have to feel something for me? Or do you already feel something for me and are too afraid to confront those feelings, so you feel like you have to hide from me? Draco, I don't understand you in the least at this moment, because at this point, I'm ready to spill my deepest and darkest secrets to you."

Draco bit his lip at Harry's outburst at him, knowing that he would feel bad if he said anything but the truth now. "Potter, you don't understand me in the least. What do you want to know? How I feel for you? Why I keep running, what? What do you want from me?"

"I want you." Harry's eyes were shining with complete seriousness. Draco could only gape. "I want you Draco. I don't want anything else at this moment of my life. I don't want to leave school early, I don't want to fight Voldemort, and I don't want to do anything but be with you. I would like to know how you feel for me, why you run from me, but I will not tell you to tell me anything. I just want you."

Draco's eyes filled with sudden tears. "You shouldn't want me Potter. I'm evil, conniving, and I'm a _Slytherin_. How in the world would you want someone like me?"

"Because you are marvelous, and amazing, and mean the world to those who want you Draco." Harry's eyes never tore from his own.

"Potter," Draco started before cutting himself off. He closed his eyes, and opened them again to look straight into Harry's eyes. "Harry, the way I feel about you is very complex. I seem to be madly and utterly in love with you." Harry's mouth fell open in a gape as he looked at Draco carefully. "I keep running because I can't help but think that you don't really mean anything with those kisses of yours, and I feel like I'm going to be completely cast aside as you leave the school to pursue that evil bastard that's been after you for all your life. I feel like I'm going to lose you if I manage to have you, so I run from it. I run from possible happiness because I don't want that to end for any reason. I love you Harry, but I can't be with you because I couldn't bear the pain of you leaving me behind when you have to save the world and possibly die. I can't risk my feelings or yours like that." Draco bit his lip, knowing full well the tears couldn't be contained much longer.

"Draco," Harry breathed against his ear as Draco shivered a little. "Draco, I can't tell you how much that means to me. I know you want to run, but please, for once in your life stay with me. Stay so that we can both know a semblance of happiness in our lives. I don't want to go on without knowing that you loved me, knowing that I was happy with you even if it was only for a short amount of time. I need to be happy once Draco, and the only one I want to experience it with is you."

Draco nodded. "I'll take it into consideration. But right now, I need to get back to my room. I'm feeling completely and utterly exhausted from this experience tonight." Draco kissed him lightly on the cheek before picking his things up from the piano and walking out the door. Harry called goodnight back at him, and Draco waved, and turned his head and smiled before closing the door. Draco walked back to his room thoughts running through his head brightly, clearly.

Potter wanted him to be happy. Potter wanted him to be happy with him. Draco knew that life couldn't get any better than it had already, and knew that it could only get better with a little more time with Harry.

Draco walked through his portrait and sat on the bed, contemplating a bit of life when he noted a new note on his pillow and Richard sleeping contently on the perch in his room. Draco smiled gently at the bird and opened the note.

_Draco,_

_You were wrong! I am not Dean Thomas, no matter how funny I laughed at that. Now, I will tell you something that should help you to figure it out. I am someone who wishes to be close to you, and if I have to I will steal you away from everyone else to be alone with you. I adore you, and know now that you are more bashful than I gave myself credit for near the beginning of us getting to know one another. _

_Draco it is not easy for me to admit, but I'm a little hurt that you have not thought more about this, for I think your guess was just something so that you could get another letter from me, was it not? I should hope to think not, for I don't know if you enjoy messing with my head as you do sometimes. _

_I am willing to let it slide this one time, and I still need to know what you want for Christmas, and frankly I hope that you've been thinking about _that_ at least. I have the desire to have you meet me somewhere, but knowing that I am unable to reveal myself to you, it makes it nearly impossible to do so and have you meet me in person. But then again, you know me very well in person, so I'm sure one day you will figure out exactly what it is that you need from me. _

_Richard will remain in your room until you send back a reply. If I have to wait more than a day this time, I will not hesitate to hunt you down and force you to respond! I'm just joking, but I do hope you respond with quickness like you have with the last few letters. _

_I love you Draco, and hope to hear from you soon. _

_An Admirer True_

Draco sighed as he set the letter down onto the pillow. Why hadn't he been expecting this? Why hadn't he expected to receive the letter from the admirer asking him for his ideas for a blasted Christmas present again? Draco truly had no idea what except to know the identity of the admirer, considering that he was in love with him and everything.

Draco sighed again in frustration as he glanced at Richard, who was still asleep, unfazed by his sighs and opening of the letter. Draco pulled a piece of parchment out of the drawer where he kept it, and started on his return letter.

oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo

Harry stumbled his way back up to the dorms where he saw a letter resting upon his pillow. He had remained down in the music room for another few hours contemplating what he had said to Draco. He thought that if perhaps he was with him romantically as himself instead of the admirer Draco would figure out that it had been him who was sending the letters all along. Harry sighed a little, and moved to the bed where he noted that Richard had left the room again before he had returned to go back to Draco.

Harry smirked a little, knowing that Draco was probably lonely down there in the dungeons in that room by himself. Draco Malfoy was interesting beyond words, and it was one of the many reasons why Harry loved him so deeply. But it did not matter as Harry moved and picked up the letter and flipped open the Malfoy seal on the back and removed the parchment from the envelope.

_Admirer, _

_You have requested on many an occasion now as to what I want for Christmas. To be honest with you, there is not much I desire other than to know who you are, but alas that is not something you can give me because of the white rose legend. You also said that you wanted to give me something that could mean something to me, and I know there is nothing more than to know that I am loved. _

_It is rare to find anyone who wants to love me for me, and frankly knowing that you love me as much as you do makes me not care about anything else at the moment. I have another guess, to which I wrote on the parchment. I do hope I got it right this time, because I keep hoping and hoping that maybe at last all the dreams I have come true. _

_For Christmas, I'd like to know where you got the rose. If you cannot reveal that to me, then I shall say my next request for a gift is for you to send me another snow globe. I loved the last one that you sent when you sent it as a makeup gift and I would adore having another one upon the shelf in my room. Just don't let it get you down that I'm not very good at guessing names. _

_I love you Admirer, and I hope to hear from you soon. _

_Draco_

Harry felt his expression soften as he read the letter. He pulled out the other piece of parchment and was shocked to see what he saw.

Across the page underneath the name Dean Thomas was this: _Harry Potter_.

Tears sprang to Harry's eyes, and he knew that perhaps life could work out like he hoped for once. Perhaps he could be happy at last.

Harry set to work at once on another snow globe and another letter to Draco.

oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo oO0Oo

Draco went to the archway near the bridge again. The moon was shining bright in the sky, and the cold was less intense than it had been in days before. It was the sixteenth of December, and Draco was following the instructions of the Admirer once more. The newest letter from the admirer had said to go here for his present. He stood at the archway, waiting for a package, and the owl swooped a package down to his feet. A small smile crossed his face, and he knew the world was all right again.

The admirer said there was another gift along with the once he would receive when he walked upon the wooden bridge in after going past the archway, and Draco had a feeling that perhaps he had guessed right after all. Draco longed dearly to open the package, but would not since it was also stated in the letter that he couldn't open it without the admirer knowing it was being opened. As Draco walked toward the bridge, he saw a floating rose with the petals pointing down. Curious, Draco looked down to see a trail of them leading through the archway and across the bridge.

Draco smiled softly as he picked up the roses one by one and made his way across the long bridge to the vine-covered wall. Sliding the vines aside, he saw a figure standing in the darkness. Draco approached it slowly and the voice he knew so well said, "I'm glad to see you my love." Draco's eyes filled with tears as he dropped all the roses onto the ground and tackled Harry, who picked him up and spun him around in a few circles.

"I'm so glad you figured it out before I had to leave. I'm so glad that you didn't have to figure it out after I was already gone from your life. I so love you Draco, in every possible way that you can even imagine." Harry kissed him before Draco could properly respond, but Draco let him get away with it. There was no other way to be content than to be held in the arms of the one that you love, and know that you are loved in return.

"Harry, you gave me roses for Christmas. But do you know what else you gave me besides these roses, and another snow globe I hope?" Draco asked, eyes shining and a smile on his face.

Harry looked at him and grinned. "Did I give you love?"

Draco nodded and said, "Yes but you gave me something else as well." Harry looked at him confused. "You gave me love, and you gave me happiness. You have given me happiness Harry," Draco said; joy in his voice and in his heart.

Harry grinned again and shook his head lightly. "You have also given me happiness Draco. You don't know how happy I am to know that you love me just as much as I love you, and the fact that you tell me so makes it even more worth the while." Harry grasped the back of Draco's neck and pulled his head to his again and kissed him hard on the lips, letting Draco know full well how much Harry loved him.

Draco melted. It was the only proper way to describe how Draco felt when Harry kissed him like that. He melted in Harry's arms, and knew that he would live to see happiness.

The roses lay on the courtyard floor on top the snow, almost forgotten until Draco leaned over and picked them up. Pushing them into his arm and carrying the package with the same hand, Draco reached over and grasped Harry's other one as they walked toward the castle, moon still hanging overhead.

Up in Draco's room, the white rose, the first one he received from Harry, glowed and sparkled under the moon.

A/N: Ok, so no real cliffhanger this time around. Are you glad about this? I mean, is it possible for me to tell you all that I wanted to leave it on a cliffhanger but decided that it was best left here instead of continued for another seven pages? Oh well. Oh, right, I promised you a total page count for this chapter so here it is: 13. Can you believe it? That's a lot of pages right there folks! All right then, I suppose this is where I say, see you next week.

Preview for next chapter: "It can't possibly be that time already. I haven't had enough time! Why can't you stay one more day?"

"Because if I did, you would lose yourself and I would lose you as well. I can't have that now, not now when I have finally found happiness."

Evil preview though…makes up for my lack of a cliffhanger!

Stay tuned next week for: **Chapter Five: Discovery Lies Across the Border**.


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: At last I've returned with a chapter

A/N: At last I've returned with a chapter? I suppose there's a bit of shock going about in here isn't there? Well, I do hope that you don't mind the fact that this chapter is super long in response to the lack of my being here and around. 13 pages last chapter, look down at the other author's note (when you finish this chapter anyway) to see how much longer this chapter was. You'll probably have some unanswered questions at the end of this, but know that everything I did in this chapter has a purpose. You'll know, you'll know I promise. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own them, never have, and I never will. Wait…I own the people in Ireland (mentioned in this chapter and in the next) and Richard, and the house elf in Malfoy Manor, but other than that, the characters are just my playthings.

Title: The Whitest Rose

_Chapter Five: Discovery Lies Across the Border_

Draco was lying on his bed the next morning in the arms of Harry, sleeping contentedly. The morning light was flowing through the windows, and the beams hit his face, warming him even further. He was currently dreaming about the previous night, wondering if all of the happiness he felt at last could only be a mere dream, illusion.

His eyes slowly opened further to reveal Harry looking down at him, a small smile on his face. Harry kissed him lightly on the lips, and whispered, "Good morning my love."

Draco's eyes fell closed again and whispered back, "So that wasn't a dream last night? You were giving me the rose path to you, and the new snow globe, and really loving me?" Harry shook his head and kissed his forehead. Draco sat up and went to his closet, and pulled out a large box, which he set on the bed.

Harry's eyes grew to almost the size of his fist as he looked at the card on top of the box, seeing right then that it was addressed to him. "Draco, you can't possibly be serious about giving this to me are you?"

Draco nodded, a mischievous glint in his eyes and he knew right then that Harry would go crazy going through all the boxes to get to the books he'd found in his father's library. Harry laughed as he pulled several boxes out of each other, and then found the last box the heaviest. He detected several protection spells on the box, which he sprang off with wandless, unconscious magic. Draco had stopped smiling, in both eyes and mouth, which had Harry a tad worried as he opened the flaps on the box.

Draco's heart pounded as Harry pulled the flaps away to reveal the twelve volumes all written in Parseltongue that he'd taken from his father's library the year before. He had been lucky to know that his father had never suspected them missing. His smile faded as the bit the inside of his cheek, seeing Harry's eyes widen once more and pull the first volume out. Draco saw the title written in the language of the snakes, and saw Harry read it to himself before looking at Draco in surprise.

"Do you realize what you've given me?" Harry's tone was a bit clenched, as if he was going to cry and Draco shook his head. "This is the series, the _entire_ series of dark magick and light magick spells written by Salazar and Godric in their years here. The first six," Harry motioned to the ones on top, "are the volumes that Godric wrote and had Salazar rewrite so the secrets could not be discovered. The second six were written by Salazar, his compilation of all the known dark magick of the time, which is still the majority of the dark magick that is known, or used, today. Dumbledore told me about these about a year ago. I had thought they were a myth until this moment though." Harry's eyes had filled with tears and he let them shed as he leaned over and kissed Draco hard across the mouth, and pulling his body towards him.

"This is the best gift that I've ever received. It's better than any Defense Against the Dark Arts books, because it had all the dark and light arts in one series."

Draco nodded, not really understanding Harry's fascination with the series, but knew that if it made him happy, that perhaps he had done something worthwhile. Harry called for Dobby, who brought up a breakfast for them to eat in bed together, and Draco read some of his own books while Harry leafed through the first few volumes, as if trying to get a feel for the spells and secrets that the books contained.

A few hours later, when Dobby brought up lunch he also brought up a letter addressed to Draco, who looked at it, recognizing his father's scrawl across the front and the Malfoy seal on the back. He sighed and pulled the letter out of the envelope, seeing a short, concise letter from his father inside.

_Draco,_

_I do not know what in the name of Merlin prompted you to remain at Hogwarts this winter break, but I assure you that it must have been a mistake on your part. You will be returning to the manor this winter, like every year, and will have your ceremony as an official 'one of us' after Christmas. I am sure that if you had read my last letter, you would've known that. If you had responded, I would have also gotten an answer from you months ago. You will be punished accordingly when you return._

_Do well on exams,_

_Lucius_

Draco sighed in frustration and crumpled up the letter before throwing it across the room. "My father just has to go and ruin everything doesn't he?" Draco murmured to himself as Harry wrapped his arms around him.

"What'd your father have to say?"

"That I'm returning to the manor whether I like it or not with the other students the day after tomorrow. I was going to spend the rest of the break with you, but no. My father is ruining my happiness with you. Harry, you have to know something," Draco said, the last bit breaking his voice as his eyes filled with tears. "I'm being forced to get the Mark two days after Christmas. My father wants me to be part of the Death Eaters, and I know that I can't, because doing so would mean that I'm being forced to fight on the wrong side."

Harry cupped his face and kissed him lightly, kissing away his tears. "Draco, love, I know that already. I just didn't know for a long time that you wanted to fight on the side that you know to be right. I know that you'd fight with me if you could, and I know of a way that you can. I got a letter this morning as well; while you were asleep, and it turns out I'm leaving with all the others the day after tomorrow as well. I'm leaving on an airplane and going to Ireland."

Draco's eyes shot open and looked at Harry in desperation. "You're going to Ireland? Why? For how long?"

Harry shook his head. "Yes, I'm going. I'm going to study." Harry paused. "I'm not sure how long I could be gone for. It could be a matter of weeks or months, but it could be more than that. Up to five years is what they tell me."

Draco couldn't speak. "You're leaving? You're really leaving?" He pulled away as more tears cascaded down his face. "I can't believe that I've let you work so hard for me, so hard for my love, so ready to believe in happiness, only to have it ripped away from me. I can't do this again, I can't. I don't want to know you're gone, that I can't see you again until you return, knowing that my one chance of happiness is only for two days. I don't want it for that long, I want it forever!" Sobs finally overtook his voice, and Draco cried.

Harry reached over and pulled Draco against his chest and let him cry. "I know that leaving is going to hurt both of us love. I know that you are going to sustain more pain than I'll ever know, and that you're going to never want to be strong. But I can promise you that my love for you will never fade, that it does not matter to me what I am doing there as long as I know you are here, and you are safe, and that you still love me." Harry's eyes filled with tears then. "I just want you to love me, and know that I love you. I will not have you make selfish promises for me about how you'll wait until the ends of time for me, or how when I see you again it'll be the moment of our lives that we missed and how we're whole once more. I want you only to be happy, with or without me in your life, with or without my love, and with or without your beliefs in family."

Draco knew that he was losing Harry right then, as it really occurred to him. "We're not ended yet Harry. We have time, we have hope, and we have love. We have each other, love; we have each other." Harry nodded.

"Now, about you getting the Mark after Christmas. We need to go and talk to Dumbledore about this. I mean now." Draco nodded, and Harry got up and dressed while Draco took a quick shower and dressed in the bathroom. Draco reached out and grasped Harry's hand as he led him out of the room and towards the stone gargoyle outside of the office. "Sugar Quills," Harry said and the gargoyle sprang to life and out of the way.

After Harry and Draco arrived at the top of the staircase, Harry knocked on the door, and Draco noticed that he had one of the books that he'd given him for Christmas tucked under the other arm that wasn't holding his hand. Draco heard Dumbledore's call to enter and they entered the office.

Harry immediately motioned for Draco to sit, which he did after Harry handed the book to Dumbledore, and remained standing himself. The Phoenix flew over and perched itself upon Harry's shoulder, and Draco was mesmerized by the sight.

"Headmaster, the burden of the white rose is lifted for me to tell you that it was Draco that I was sending the letters and gifts to, who has obviously figured out that I am the admirer. To move onto business," Harry motioned to the book and then to Draco before continuing, "Draco gave me that book, along with eleven others. The books you spoke of- the series written by Gryffindor and Slytherin in their early years about all the light and dark magic of the world. It also has mentions of the earlier forms of "magick" which I do not quite understand, but adhere to, seeing as there's no other way for me to have it explained.

"Also, seeing as how I cannot remain here over break, and how Draco is being forced to return home, I thought it might be a good time to bring up _again_ that Draco would be valuable to our cause of light. He can be like Snape and act as a spy for both sides, giving Voldemort the least valuable information that he can offer." Harry's eyes were furious and he slammed his palms against Dumbledore's desk. "You can't let them corrupt him too!"

Draco took a glance at Dumbledore, who sat with head rested against his intertwined fingers. His eyes lacked their usual twinkle, and he knew right then that he wasn't going to be full of humor at the moment. "Well, Mr. Potter, are you proposing a solution? You propose for young Mr. Malfoy to become a spy, but he doesn't have the kind of skill at guarding his mind like Severus, and there is a lack of adapting to such conditions. There are other options, but that is not one of them for at least another year."

Harry contemplated this for a moment before saying, "He could come to Ireland with me. I broke the tracking spells on Draco months ago, and his father wouldn't find him all the way out there, especially with the cloaking spells that would be in place anyway."

"That is not an option either Harry. You must realize that since Draco has not yet completed his NEWTS he cannot leave the school like you can. Yours have been completed while his have not."

"Couldn't he take them out there?" Harry's tone was desperate.

Dumbledore shook his head, and Draco knew right then that not only was the answer no, but also that there were no other options available to him, or to his future that didn't include his father and Dumbledore. "Harry, I'm afraid that is completely impossible. Draco would be learning the same material as you, and would not have the time available to study for his NEWTS and for the practical exams that you'd endure over there. We have to wait until later for him to be able to help with the order work." Dumbledore's eyes hardened a little, losing their usual sparkle, and Draco was slightly taken aback at the notion.

"Sir, there's nothing that we can do to help him?" Harry's desperate tone didn't fade and his eyes were shining with unshed tears. Draco shook his head before Dumbledore could answer that question. Draco bowed his head in resignation to his fate.

"No, Harry," Draco answered quietly not raising his eyes to look at Harry. "There's nothing we can do. I found out all of this too late, and didn't do anything about it myself. I sealed my own fate. I'll suffer my father's insistence, and become a Death Eater spy myself. I want to help your cause, not my father's." Draco's voice was unfamiliar to his own at its certainty.

Finally raising his eyes to look at Harry again, he noted the distraught look they held and bit his lip, thinking that perhaps he'd made the wrong choice. Looking over at Dumbledore next, he noticed the shine was back in those eyes. When they stared at one another for a few moments, Dumbledore finally asked, "My boy, are you sure this is what you want to do? This will be hard for you to endure, and there is much training that you will need to receive from both Severus and myself to keep you safe. You will need to be welcomed as a member of the Order, and make it known that you can be trusted." Dumbledore folded his hands underneath his chin and looked straight at Draco.

Draco only nodded. "Yes sir, I'll do it. I feel like it's something that I am meant to do, that I _need_ to do with my life. I can't just stand by and watch as the Dark Lord destroys more lives, especially those of which I care for. Let me do this Headmaster, please."

Dumbledore's eyes closed and opened, resting once again on Harry. "Harry, you will not be allowed to be seen with him when boarding the train, and you must keep up all pretenses as usual. I will see if it cannot be arranged to have Draco transported to see you once before the break is over, but you will not see him during the school year or the summer after. He will be receiving the training he requires during these times, so it will be the only chance in which you have to see him. Do you understand, both of you?"

Harry looked over at Draco who stared right back at him. Harry nodded, as did Draco and they linked hands. "Headmaster, there is one last thing I wish to ask of you," Harry asked staring deeply into Draco's eyes. "I want you to perform the bonding link between us." Draco's eyes went wide and he continued to stare at Harry, eyeing him if he were insane.

"Draco, do you wish to be bonded with him?" Dumbledore asked so quietly that Draco almost failed to hear it. "Do you wish to link your soul with his, and if your love is true you will remain together for as long as you are both alive?" Draco nodded and Dumbledore nodded his head once. "Very well, I will need the items that you sent Draco, Harry."

Harry pulled both snow globes out from his pocket and gave them to Dumbledore. Draco looked at him aghast and Harry smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I had to take them without you knowing because you probably would've thought that I was nicking the gifts back from you." Draco shook his head and looked back at Dumbledore who was bent over looking at the globes.

"By Merlin," Dumbledore breathed as he looked at the first globe with the world in the shape of the heart. "These are wonderfully crafted Harry." Harry blushed lightly and reached over to take Draco's hand again before looking at Dumbledore and nodding.

"Are they suited for bonding purposes sir?" Harry asked, gripping Draco's hand tighter. Dumbledore nodded and handed them each one of the globes.

"Harry, Draco you must be one-hundred percent sure of this decision. If you are not sure, back out now." When neither boy answered that they were unsure, Dumbledore nodded and raised his hands and chanted in Latin. The snow globes began to glow and Draco's eyes widened once more, and he glanced over at Harry who looked as if he'd been expecting this to happen. Draco clutched onto his hand a little tighter, and smiled as he felt warmth entering his body. Closing his eyes, he felt Harry next to him, and felt Harry inside of him. With wide eyes, he realized that he was being bonded soul to soul with the one person that he truly loved, and knew that things would never be the same.

As suddenly as it began, the globes began to dim, and Draco felt the warmth fade little by little, but he suddenly had a new understanding of the person beside him, and knew that it was his soul mixed with Harry's. Looking over at his bonded, he noted that Harry had warmth and love shining in his eyes, and Draco couldn't help but smile wide at the notion. Harry was his, now and forever.

_Malfoy Manor-December 27_

It had been six days since Draco had ridden the train back with Harry to the platform, and six days since Draco had returned home only to sulk. Draco had yet to receive a letter from Harry with Richard, and when he called for Richard, the owl had remained with him at all times in his room. That had been three days ago.

Draco sighed as he looked out the window while sitting in the window seat in his room. He was worried. Harry had promised him that he'd write, and yet here it was six days later and no letters had been seen in Draco's hands for that long. Draco sighed again and whispered, "_Tempus_," and saw that it was eight forty-five. Draco closed his eyes, leaned his head against the window and crossed his arms.

When he heard a rap on his door, his eyes shot open, and muttered, "_Tempus_," once more, only to see it was nearly midnight. Draco knew that the only person at the door was a house elf telling him that it was time for the ceremony. He answered the door, disappointed at being correct in his assumption. "What do you need?"

The house elf's ears perked up lightly and said, "Master Lucius says that it is time to tell Master Draco that he must get ready for the ceremony in a half hour. Master Draco is to bathe and to dress in this," the elf said handing him an unusual robe. Draco's eyes shut and he nodded.

"Very well Pimsy. Tell my father that I will join him promptly in twenty-three minutes." The elf nodded and snapped its fingers, vanishing with that loud crack as always. Draco grabbed the robe and swept into his bathroom, shedding his clothes and turning the taps on as cold as they would go.

Shivering lightly as he stepped under the tap, Draco threw his head back against the stream and sighed in relief that he was finally going to go through the worst part of his life. He had wanted to get it over with days ago, so he could focus on his first mission for the Order, and see Severus again for more training to guard his mind. Draco washed his body and hair with his special herbal washes and was out of the shower and dressed once more in this new robe in twenty-two minutes.

As Draco made his way down the stairs, Lucius was waiting at the bottom for him and nodded. "Prompt as always aren't you son?" Draco didn't answer, knowing that no answer was needed to satisfy his father when he was like this. His father viewed this as the day when Draco would finally become a real Malfoy and honor the family, just like he had.

Draco watched as his mother emerged from the shadows and handed him an athame with a pentacle engraved in the handle. "For the ceremony. It has been passed down among my family for generations, as each person in my family was initiated into something powerful. Use it wisely, my son."

Lucius nodded his approval and ushered Draco forward with a light push on his back. Making his way down to the basement, Draco noted the looks from a muggle family in the corner of one of the cages and made them see the glint of the silver from the athame in the dim light. Their eyes widened and he turned away from them, walking faster down the corridor into the main room where he saw a throne-like chair sitting the middle of the back of the circular room.

Draco approached within a few yards, knowing full well that the Dark lord was sitting directly in front of him and he knelt down, dutiful as always and remembering his father's teachings for initiation. Draco bowed his head, and raised the athame above his head before setting it down a foot in front of him and waited for Voldemort to speak to him.

Draco heard a rustle of robes and a few steps, as Voldemort stood above him. "So, Young Malfoy, you are asking to join my ranks?" The voice seemed unusually quiet for the large room and Draco nodded.

"I am here as your servant, my Lord. I am here as a humble follower, who knows your cause, and wishes to join your ranks and be one of the few and proud. I wish to be yours for eternity my Lord," Draco recited, regretting every word as he spoke them, knowing he was condemning himself to a monster.

Voldemort put a hand on his shoulder, and gripped lightly pulling upwards and Draco raised his head. Voldemort's eyes bore into his, and Draco felt the probing of his mind, knowing that he would not find the secrets buried deep within because of his blocks that he had accomplished. "Young Malfoy, you are here as an initiate for my ranks. I humbly accept your offer to join me and be one of the few and proud, and help bring this world to a new rebirth!"

Voldemort swept away from him and Draco stood swiftly, knowing the Dark Lord wouldn't like foolish stumbles. Voldemort brought a glass and a snake before him, and a bottle of something red behind that, floating obediently. "Young Malfoy, we will test your strength and will, seeing if you are worthy of my ranks. Pick up your treasure." Draco reached down, never letting his eyes stray from Voldemort's and picked up the athame.

Voldemort handed the snake to Draco, who held its mouth closed with one hand while Voldemort poured the red stuff into the glass. Voldemort held the glass out and said, "With this blood you will join yourself with me, in blood and in body." Draco let the snake open its mouth and he raked the athame underneath the fangs, pulling a bit of its venom out and letting it drop into the glass.

"With this poison, I give my life for yours. Should the poison kill me, you will know I did it for you, if it does not, I will be yours in life after death." Draco recited before cutting the snake in half and letting it drop to the ground. Voldemort handed the glass to Draco who stirred it around a little with the tip of the athame.

Voldemort reached over, grasped the athame in one of his hands and pulled it away while fully handing the glass to Draco. Draco held the glass in both hands and drank it down, feeling it burn his throat. Draco felt his body sway underneath the venom's effect, but he remained standing, uttering no noise from his mouth.

Voldemort still stood before him, and reached out to steady him by the shoulder. "Young Malfoy, you are bound to me in body and blood, and in life after death. You are bound to me for as long as you and I both live Young Malfoy, and now you will gain your reward. You have waited for this time for a long time Young Malfoy, and you have proven yourself worthy of my respect."

Voldemort pulled out his wand and rested it against Draco's arm. "Now for the part that is the most painful, but the most rewarding as well." Draco clenched his eyes closed in pain, and gritted his teeth together to keep from making any noise as Voldemort carved the Dark Mark into his arm.

He heard Voldemort's chuckle as he faded away into blackness, and thought that he had perhaps shamed his father.

When Draco woke once again, he was in his bed, and a big bandage was wrapped around his arm, and his father was beside his bed. "Son, you're awake." Draco groaned quietly and started to rise when his father pushed him back down. "Do not worry, you need your rest."

Draco turned his head away from Lucius and closed his eyes as he said, "I have shamed you, haven't I father?"

"Draco." Draco turned his head to see Lucius smiling at him. "No, my son, you have not shamed me. In fact, I was quite proud of you. So was our lord." Draco stared at him, eyes going wide.

"But I fainted from the pain."

"My boy, everyone faints from the pain. Well, the pain mixed with the poison. I am proud of you though, many of the initiates have screamed as the pain bore into them, or they died from the poison. In reality, you were much stronger than the others. You didn't cry out in pain, and you didn't die from the two drops of poison with the blood. You did me proud Draco." His father smiled at him again before rising from the chair. "Your wound will heal in a couple of days, and you will be truly one of us." Lucius made his way to the door and paused. "Severus is also planning on seeing you tomorrow should you feel up to it."

"I'll feel up to it Father," Draco answered and his father looked back.

"I shall tell him then. Go back to sleep son." Lucius went out the door, and closed it gently behind him.

Draco closed his eyes again, falling back into the comfortable blackness.

_December 29_

Harry breathed in the fresh air of the countryside as he walked out the front door towards his new teacher's cottage on one of the few roads in Rathgormack. Cathán's cottage was a short walk from where Harry was staying, and he knew that he would arrive early as always to his morning lesson to learn about auras, and aura training in an ancient art of magick.

Harry's eyes stung a little as he stared at the bright white snow on the ground, but continued forward as always to continue learning. It had been just over a week since he had arrived and on the second day, he was already into deeper knowledge than he had ever thought possible. Draco would be proud that he was learning as much as he was, and Harry felt a pang in his chest. He had promised to write, and still had yet to write to his bonded.

Harry vowed that today would be the day that he would write to Draco, and it would be the longest of the letters that he'd ever written, and if he got a hand cramp, it was just too damn bad because he had reason to write so much. As he approached Cathán's door, he sighed out a little and knocked on it, feeling his chest rise in admiration again at the other man's knowledge.

The door opened shortly and Cathán walked away from the entrance, knowing exactly who it was. "Prompt as always Mr. Potter. You are the most eager student that I've had in years, but I was expecting you in the spring, not in the middle of this dreadful winter. But no matter, let's continue from where we left off yesterday." Cathán walked across the room and threw a book at Harry, the one he had been reading from the day before.

Harry glanced at the title again, smiling at knowing that this was only part of his training, that there was much more to his life at the moment than just aura training. _Basics of Auras_ was a book about what auras truly were, how they were represented to each individual person, and how auras were the basis of magickal power, and how if you can manipulate auras, you have control over your opponent's magick.

Harry flipped open to the page he had left off on yesterday, nearing the end of the second chapter already, and retaining the majority of the knowledge that he was gaining. Cathán looked over at him slightly as he began to read and walked off into the kitchen to finish his meal. Shortly afterward, Cathán noted that Harry had begun reading the third chapter, so he stood from his chair and walked towards Harry, marking his page and pulling the book from his hands.

"Time for more practical and physical knowledge and practice Mr. Potter," Cathán said as he put the book down on the table. "You know the routine by now." Cathán walked into another room, which expanded for a mile wide and a mile long, giving plenty of room for the duels that they would engage in.

Harry walked into the room after him, panting lightly as he kept up with the much taller and faster man. Cathán stopped in the middle of the room and motioned for Harry to take the seiza position in front of him. "Now, finishing up chapter two means that you are engaging in physical combat, using your aura as your defense. You are channeling your own energy through your body, essentially hardening it so that most weapons will not harm you, and if they do, they inflict little damage. Your body will become your armor, and is alarmingly easy to control. Now, when doing so, it is easier if you have time to channel your energy, but when you have mastered your own aura, in a pinch the aura will do it automatically for you."

Cathán walked a few feet away from him and motioned for Harry to stand. "You on the other hand, as a new student need to channel your energy first. I would recommend staying here for the next three minutes; channeling the energy within and feeling it seep into your skin, making it harder than a diamond. I will attack you with my katana and if you bleed, you have not been successful."

Harry nodded and said, "Yes sir," as he closed his eyes and felt his magick rumbling deep inside him, and he tapped into it quickly, feeling it fill him to the brink and he imagined it becoming his new skin, harder than a diamond, but lighter than a feather so there would be no heavy feeling upon his shoulders. Time passed quicker than he realized, because he felt a light rush of wind and his eyes snapped open just in time to see Cathán coming at him with the sword.

Harry jumped back, feeling like the armor on his body was part of him, and then ran forward. Cathán jabbed the katana forward into Harry's arm, and Harry felt a slight pain and noted that there was a light scratch on his arm, but no blood. Harry grinned but felt the katana slice again, on his other arm and noted there was blood. Cathán dropped the sword and immediately used his own aura to heal Harry, and shook his head.

"Mr. Potter, you've made progress, but you must not let it get to your head when you accomplish something. You need to remain focused on the battle or on the task at hand or you will never master your aura, let alone use your aura to change someone else's to your will. Go back and reread the last six pages and we will try again before you leave for the day. Go now." Cathán finished healing him and ushered Harry out of the room, closing the battleground once more.

Cathán sighed. Harry was a good student, diligent with his studies, eager to learn and powerful. He also had an ego about him that would not suit him well if he ever got the hang of mastering the auras, but for now he was pretty well off. Twenty minutes later, they tried again, and Cathán noticed a big difference between the two times.

"Mr. Potter, that is all for today. Your energies are exhausted and need to rest. Go ahead and leave for today and I shall see you again tomorrow." Harry nodded and bowed to Cathán, and quickly left the house, hoping to make it to his next lesson by lunch.

If there was one thing Harry liked about Rathgormack, it was the fact that his new best friend was named Geiléis and she was the best cook in the world. She was also one of his teachers. She taught the importance of crystals, and how they are useful for different things. They were starting with Quartz, one of the easiest to learn, and each day they would review before moving onto new information, making it easier for him to grasp the concepts.

'_Crystal working is abstract,'_ Geiléis had once said. _'Working with crystals is like trying to understand the difference between two pieces of grass. Many crystals are the same, and many different crystals have similar properties, but all are important to understand.'_ Harry envied her. He knew that crystals were hard to understand, but having a teacher like her made it ten times easier than if he had learned it from anyone else.

He walked into the kitchen to smell something cooking on the stove, and he heard Geiléis call out, "HARRY! Oh my dear do come in, I've just got a nice stew on the stove at the moment, so sit down and make yourself comfortable. It will be ready any minute now, so I hope that you're hungry after your encounter with the Aura Master."

Harry chuckled. She had never once referred to Cathán by his name, but always as the "Aura Master". Harry grinned and settled himself down in his favorite chair at the table and called out to her, "So Geiléis, what do you know of my Aura Master anyway? He seems a lot like my Potions Master back at my old school. Is he always uptight and strict?"

He heard Geiléis laugh heartily and say, "Oh dearie never. He's like that only with his students, and more so with you because you actually seem to care what you are learning when you're with him. I believe that he just expects more from you because you learn for the heck of it, and seem to love learning. I've noticed it too, and so has your herbal teacher. Now, your other teacher, the one teaching you the importance of the goddesses and gods, I'm not sure she likes you as much, mostly just because you seem bored to death when she lectures." Geiléis paused. "Really, I think that the Master is so tough with you because you're such a sweetie pie, and he thinks you need a little hardening of your heart."

Geiléis stopped talking as she approached the table with the rabbit stew and spooned some out for Harry into the bowl in front of him and he blushed as he stomach growled violently. "Well, young man you seem hungry. Go on eat up before it gets cold." Harry dug in gratefully, knowing that Geiléis just liked to spoil him because she never had the chance for children of her own, but Harry didn't mind to indulge her.

Geiléis tucked in shortly afterward and flicked her wand making the glasses float out of the cabinet and fetch some water from the well outside the house. "It's so nice still having my handy wand. Most of the witches and wizards around here rely on aura, but my skills never really extended out that far and wandless magic is pretty beyond my capabilities. I'm more into power of inanimate objects that you tap power from, rather than getting from deep inside. After all dearie, that is the point of our lesson today."

Geiléis floated the glasses over for them to drink from and as soon as they finished the lunch, they began on the lesson. "Now dear, where did we leave off yesterday?" Harry floated a few crystals from the shelf over to the table using his wandless magick and set them down in front of her. "We finished the healing properties of rose quartz, and started on rubies for stress." Geiléis nodded and said, "We're going to start a new concept then love." Harry's eyes widened.

"I should've told you from the beginning that all crystals have the ability to be channeled into a little energy boost that allow your aura and magick to increase for a short amount of time. Also, whatever crystal you tap into, you will have a higher amount of control over that type of magick for that same short time."

Geiléis motioned towards the rose quartz lying on the table. "You see the rose quartz on the table? Well, you know the property of the stone. The stone is used for healing, so you can tap into the little source of magick inside, and make your healing abilities greater for a short amount of time."

Harry's eyes widened and he nodded. "I understand. By tapping into the little energy stores in a crystal or stone, I gain that power for a short time, or enhance the abilities I have already with that power by increasing my own energy and aura for a short time. This concept is easier to understand than I thought it would be at the beginning."

Geiléis nodded. "Now, onto the matter of using your own magick to tap into its energy which happens to be a new concept that we will not start for ages. You must finish learning all I can teach you about properties of crystals before I can even begin to teach you to tap into the energy they have stored. Another thing; over time, the crystals that you tap energy out of gain it back just by sitting anywhere near the ground."

Harry nodded. "So, teach me more about crystals. What about rubies?"

Geiléis laughed and nodded motioning towards the red stone lying on the table. "Well, first rubies…"

_January 3, Malfoy Manor_

Draco stared out the window again. He'd finally received a letter from Harry on the night of New Years, longer than he'd ever expected to receive from him, but he knew right then that he might never get to the fact that Harry wouldn't see him again until he returned from the town he was in.

Draco's eyes filled with tears. He'd written Harry back with the terrible experiences that he'd endured nearly a week before, and couldn't bring himself to fully accept the fact that he was now torturing people for information for the Order, like it was the only way to accept the fact that perhaps he wasn't as much of a monster as he viewed himself.

No, it was a matter of being true to himself and to knowing that there was always another way out of a situation. He was a Slytherin after all. Draco pulled his knees up to his chest and let the tears slide down his cheeks as Severus walked into his room once more with no invitation.

"Draco, you're spending the rest of the holiday back at school in the dungeons." Draco nodded, immediately moving away so that Severus couldn't see his face, but was suddenly pulled against his professor, his godfather. "Don't sulk so much. He's going to be at the school tomorrow, so you can see him one last time before you both get to busy to see each other. I had it arranged so he can floo back here with no issues from his teachers out there, and so that you get back two days in advance and away from these people you call family."

Draco let his eyes flood and the tears pour out of him. Here, in Severus' arms, he was safe from the troubles of the world long enough for him to cry. When the flood had stopped, Severus preformed a few charms to give him his original appearance and motioned for him to gather his things. "You do want to see him again before school starts for you again don't you?"

That was all the encouragement Draco needed.

_January 3, Hogwarts_

Harry sat in the chair in the Headmaster's office. He was nervous. He didn't know why he was nervous; he just knew that he couldn't really sit still long enough to figure it out. Dumbledore would watch him with careful eyes, not saying anything as Harry would stand, pace, and sit before starting the process again.

Harry muttered, _"Tempus,"_ and noted that he'd only been there for twenty minutes. That was fifteen minutes too long for him to wait when he was anxious and nervous. "Harry, why don't you sit down?" Harry glared at him slightly before sitting again. He sat, drumming his fingers on his leg, waiting as patiently as he could; unaware that Draco was right outside the door.

Draco stared at the doorknob. He had been staring at it for the last ten minutes, trying to open it with his mind because his hands were shaking too much to even grasp the knob. Draco finally steadied his hand enough to grasp the doorknob and turned it to open the door and walk inside.

Harry jumped up from the chair he was in, and rushed the door to greet Draco with a hug and kiss across the lips. "Harry, not here," Draco murmured feeling better as Harry nuzzled at his neck and squeezed him hard in the hug he was trapped in. Harry just kept nuzzling his neck and seemed content to never let him breathe again. When Harry finally did let him go, Draco kissed him across the cheek before nodding to Dumbledore.

"Hello Headmaster." Dumbledore's eyes were shining brighter than he had seen in a long time and Dumbledore nodded in return.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts Draco. The rest of the students return the day after tomorrow, so you both have today and tomorrow to spend, but after that, you are to return to Ireland," he said motioning to Harry. "And you are to return to your classes. I will not be allowed to let you see each other until Harry's training is finished, which could be over a year. You both understand this?"

Harry and Draco looked at Dumbledore and nodded. Dumbledore waved his hands at them both. "Then I shall see you both the day after tomorrow. Enjoy yourselves."

Harry and Draco nodded once more before Harry pulled Draco out of the door, dragging him out by the hand. Draco chuckled and let Harry drag him away and as soon as they were down the staircase, Harry had him pinned against the wall, and setting his lips upon his own. Harry cupped his face with both his hands and then pulled away far enough to look Draco in the eyes. "I've missed you more than you know."

"I got your last letter. I'm impressed that you're studying that much. So you like your teachers out there better than the ones you had out here?" Harry chuckled lightly before nodding.

"I like them better for the most part. My Aura teacher reminds me just a little bit of Snape, just without the malice." Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck. "Besides, he's rather supportive, and doesn't give me too hard of a time during my training. I can't wait to tell you all about…" Harry continued to rant on and on all the way down to the dungeons and to Draco's rooms and kissed him again.

"I've missed you Harry," Draco murmured against his lips.

"I've missed you too. I've missed you a whole lot. And I promise to try and keep up with my letters a little better too." Harry grinned and kissed him again, lightly. Harry's eyes hardened a little and he glanced down at Draco's arm. "So you went through the initiation ceremony over break?"

Draco's eyes fell. "Yes. It actually went better than I expected. I drank snake venom and didn't die, so I guess I have a better immune system than most people realized. I have the mark, but I do not want to show it to you. It's such an ugly thing to look at."

Harry nodded. "I suppose that you wouldn't. Let me see it anyway Draco, I need to feel some more hate for that bastard anyway." Draco pulled away far enough for Harry to roll up his sleeve and glance at his arm.

"So you've been learning a lot," Draco stated simply changing the subject as soon as he could.

Harry nodded briefly still keeping his gaze on Draco's arm before pulling his hands and eyes away and rolling the sleeve of the robe back down. "Yea, all my teachers out there are a bit more lenient, and don't give homework so I don't usually have much to do after I get home, but I'm also gone all day learning from four different teachers. I spend about two hours with each of them, but with my Aura Master I've spent upwards of nearly three or four hours with him, delaying my other lessons. I've learned quick and effectively according to my crystal teacher, and my God and Goddess teacher hates my guts because I keep trying to fall asleep in her class. It's a lot like History of Magic, just with people instead of people and events." Harry sighed and chuckled. "Honestly though, my herbs class is probably my favorite because I'm learning a lot about herbs and how they're effective in more modern potions that are used among witches in covens. It's all very interesting."

Draco grinned. "Well I'm glad that you're learning so much and enjoying it."

Harry nodded. "Well, what have you learned so far?"

"I've learned a lot. I crossed a new border this winter Harry, and I've learned a lot."

Harry nodded again, smiling like a loon. "Well, discovery lies across the border after all."

A/N: Ok, so this chapter is done. It's freaking done already. I'm glad that it didn't end up any longer than this, considering that if it had I might've lost my mind. Expect another long chapter soon, hopefully less than 8000 words this time, but still long all the same. This chapter is 16 pages long, so I do hope that you like longer chapters. I'll see you soon for: **Chapter 6: Without Your Love**. See you then!


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